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Post by simnettpratt on Sept 16, 2017 20:33:38 GMT -5
An online survey just found out that 0% of the world is Amish.
My wife kept asking me why she was so itchy. I asked her why she pronounces it with a silent 'B'.
My wife is so ugly she walked by the walruses at Sea World and her iPhone unlocked itself.
Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can. 3/10
Didn't say they were proud jokes...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2017 20:35:50 GMT -5
5 Year Old: Daddy! Daddy! Why am I running around in circles?
Dad: Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
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Post by just ol ed on Sept 16, 2017 22:15:34 GMT -5
Ed is sooooo old that........ (fill in the blanks please.
Ed Duncan, Batavia, NY
12/40
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Post by simnettpratt on Sept 16, 2017 22:21:26 GMT -5
Ed's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was from his apartment.
Ed's so old, he's not reading this because he's watching Matlock.
Ed's so old, his family tree starts with him.
Ed's so old, he has an autographed Bible.
Ed's so old, when he was young, rainbows were black and white.
Ed's so old, he went to an antique auction and three people bid on him.
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Post by trailboss on Sept 16, 2017 22:38:18 GMT -5
Ed is so old he farts carbon dust, and the only way to clean his shorts is with ever clear.
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Post by trailboss on Sept 16, 2017 22:49:34 GMT -5
I'd like to kill myself, but I'm afraid of commitment, so I just take a lot of naps.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2017 23:03:39 GMT -5
Ed is so old he can remember when the Dead Sea was only slightly ill
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Post by Darin on Sept 17, 2017 13:01:43 GMT -5
Lol ... good stuff! đ
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Post by sparks on Sept 18, 2017 6:48:45 GMT -5
Why do Italian men grown mustaches? They want to look like their Mother.
How come Italian's can't have BBQ's? Spaghetti slips through the grill.
Why do Italian men wear gold chains? So they know where to stop shaving.
Thanks... I'll be here all week.
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Post by username on Sept 18, 2017 10:15:30 GMT -5
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe out of that thing?
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Post by simnettpratt on Sept 18, 2017 10:18:21 GMT -5
The bartender said, 'I'm sorry, we don't serve faster than light particles in here'.
A quark walks into a bar.
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Post by trailboss on Sept 18, 2017 10:37:33 GMT -5
Why do farts stink?
So deaf people can enjoy them.
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Post by That Falls Guy on Sept 18, 2017 10:53:18 GMT -5
How about a little Chinese???
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Post by trailboss on Sept 18, 2017 12:19:18 GMT -5
She names the "names" and comments that the NTSB is determining what role they played in the accident.
Sum Ting Wong definitely played a role.
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Post by terrapinflyer on Sept 26, 2017 8:48:59 GMT -5
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
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Because they taste funny.
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Post by Lady Margaret on Sept 27, 2017 9:23:01 GMT -5
lol!
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Post by trailboss on Sept 27, 2017 14:40:42 GMT -5
An âOld Battle Axâ is walking past an âOutdoor Coffee Shopâ at midday and sees an extremely attractive young lady enjoying a Robosto.
With as much disdain as she can muster the hag walks up to the young lady and blurts out, âThatâs disgusting, Iâd rather have sexâ.
With out missing a beat, the young woman replies, âSo would I, but there is just not enough time on a Lunch-Breakâ
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