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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 14:17:30 GMT -5
In the movie Christmas Story, Ralphie was always warned it would put his eye out. We probably all heard some iteration of that. Two of mine, offhand, were things dad would say: Ah, you don't know Ish Kabibble! Who do you think you are, Yehudi?
I didn't realize until some years back that both were real people. In fact, both lived into the 1990's or thereabouts.
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Post by PhantomWolf on Mar 12, 2018 14:37:33 GMT -5
I sometimes like to make up my own and I say them in a Foghorn Leghorn accent. The looks on people's faces when they think about them are pretty priceless.
A few examples: "As sure as Jiminy Crickets shits on your right shoulder" "Looks like the lobster is in the sandbox and you is the one holdin the broom" "I'd rather eat a Denver omelette in Pittsburgh with two forks and no teeth."
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Post by Dramatwist on Mar 12, 2018 14:41:20 GMT -5
In the movie Christmas Story, Ralphie was always warned it would put his eye out. We probably all heard some iteration of that. Two of mine, offhand, were things dad would say: Ah, you don't know Ish Kabibble! Who do you think you are, Yehudi? I didn't realize until some years back that both were real people. In fact, both lived into the 1990's or thereabouts. ...LOL! My Dad used to say similar things to me, mentioning those two names! Another great thread, David!
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Post by oldcajun123 on Mar 12, 2018 15:14:16 GMT -5
My Grandfather was a big German who played the Acordion, told great stories and his favorite quote that stuck with me throughout my life was, You can make me eat shite just don't tell me it's butter. At 75 I've had to eat some, didn't like it but that's life.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 15:55:19 GMT -5
In the movie Christmas Story, Ralphie was always warned it would put his eye out. We probably all heard some iteration of that. Two of mine, offhand, were things dad would say: Ah, you don't know Ish Kabibble! Who do you think you are, Yehudi? I didn't realize until some years back that both were real people. In fact, both lived into the 1990's or thereabouts. ...LOL! My Dad used to say similar things to me, mentioning those two names! Another great thread, David! A variation on Yehudi would be, "You ain't no Yehudi!" Dad's Grandpa always told him (mentioned this before), "If you pull it, it will come off."
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Post by papipeguy on Mar 12, 2018 16:22:06 GMT -5
My German grandmother believed that every space on a wall should have something hanging on it. She'd say, "An empty wall is like a cow without a tail."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 16:25:13 GMT -5
My German grandmother believed that every space on a wall should have something hanging on it. She'd say, "An empty wall is like a cow without a tail." That should go in a book somewhere German family here, too. A term, not phrase, that Grandma Busch used to call us was a slop honus if we weren't clean. You don't want to be a slop honus. I had not heard it for years when clerk at a store used it. Then no longer until recently when I found someone who wrote a paragraph or two about being called one
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Post by trailboss on Mar 12, 2018 16:31:53 GMT -5
My dad was pretty a pretty hardcore military man:
“Sympathy lies between shite and sweat in the dictionary”
“Wish in one hand, shite in the other, see which one fills up first”
Mom being of a gentler nature:
“You will be able to count your true friends on one hand”
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Post by Scott W on Mar 12, 2018 17:38:28 GMT -5
My uncle joe when some one was lying “You sound like a bullshit salesman with a mouthful of samples!”
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 17:40:26 GMT -5
Some good stuff. Maybe we should all collaborate on the Briar Patch Book of Family Sayings
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Post by Scott W on Mar 12, 2018 17:44:57 GMT -5
Grandma: “If conceit were consumption, you’d be dead” or “One more word and I’ll give you a folded five”.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 17:49:51 GMT -5
God Bless Grandmas. Consumption is a word you hardly hear except in taxes and old westerns.
My Grandmother would have like one scoop of ice cream and say, "If I have anymore I'll lose my girlish figure."
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Post by Scott W on Mar 12, 2018 17:51:40 GMT -5
Dad:
“Are you stupid or something?” “you don’t have a brain in your head”
Mom:
“If you reach for the stars, you will never come up with a handful of mud.”
Two very different sets of parenting skills.
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Post by Ronv69 on Mar 12, 2018 18:26:36 GMT -5
My dad died before he could tell me anything. My mom, talking about a fellow election worker; She would bitch if she were hung with a new rope. Om the moving crew we were paying by the hour; They're moving like the dead lice are falling off of them.
She was actually a very sweet lady, which is probably why these comments stick with me.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 19:44:12 GMT -5
My mom used to say "I've been busier than a one-legged judge at an arse-kicking contest." Why a judge I'll never know, because I asked her and she has no idea.
My dad had tons of crazy expressions, but the only one I can think of at the moment is "horsepucky". He also used "curtains" like an old-time gangster, as in "watch out on that ledge or it'll be curtains."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 19:46:56 GMT -5
My mom used to say "I've been busier than a one-legged judge at an arse-kicking contest." Why a judge I'll never know, because I asked her and she has no idea. My dad had tons of crazy expressions, but the only one I can think of at the moment is "horsepucky". He also used "curtains" like an old-time gangster, as in "watch out on that ledge or it'll be curtains." Why a judge? I am trying to figure it out, too. It sounds good, though. Horsepucky - I thought that one was invented by Colonel Potter on MASH. Now I know it goes back further
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Beardedpipesmoker
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Post by Beardedpipesmoker on Mar 12, 2018 22:29:02 GMT -5
My grandfather used to say, "I might not always be right but I'm never wrong." Always made me laugh as a kid.
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Post by sablebrush52 on Mar 12, 2018 23:07:49 GMT -5
At dinner, when I was pushing the over boiled vegetables around on my plate, my mother would say to me,"Eat your vegetable! Children are starving in Europe!"
To which I would reply, while lifting my plate, "Here, sent this to them!"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2018 23:17:41 GMT -5
At dinner, when I was pushing the over boiled vegetables around on my plate, my mother would say to me,"Eat your vegetable! Children are starving in Europe!" To which I would reply, while lifting my plate, "Here, sent this to them!" and you didn't get smacked for that? wow! When I was younger it was the starving Biafra Babies.
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sablebrush52
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Post by sablebrush52 on Mar 13, 2018 1:10:33 GMT -5
At dinner, when I was pushing the over boiled vegetables around on my plate, my mother would say to me,"Eat your vegetable! Children are starving in Europe!" To which I would reply, while lifting my plate, "Here, sent this to them!" and you didn't get smacked for that? wow! When I was younger it was the starving Biafra Babies. My mother was definitely the disciplinarian. She did not spare the belt. But she also had a sense of humor which saved me on such occasions.
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Post by briarpipenyc on Mar 13, 2018 5:48:40 GMT -5
Standing too long in front of an wide open refrigerator, while looking for something too eat, pissed off my mother. She'd sarcastically, say:...."You makin' a career outta lookin' in that refrigerator, or, what? I'm not partners with Con-Edison"!
Ahhhhh....to be back in those good old days!
Frank NYC
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Post by Artistik on Mar 13, 2018 6:23:27 GMT -5
My mom used to say "I've been busier than a one-legged judge at an arse-kicking contest." My mom would say "busier than a cat with two tails in a room full of rocking chairs"
One of my friends favorites was "grinning like a jackass eating briars through a barbed wire fence" I always could picture that one in my head lol.
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Post by briarpipenyc on Mar 13, 2018 6:45:01 GMT -5
Scot W's grandmother:...
"One more word and I'll give you a folded five".....made me spit my morning coffee! Hilarious.
Frank NYC
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Post by orley on Mar 13, 2018 11:09:19 GMT -5
When I did something stupid and my dad showed me the errors of my ways, he'd say " Learn something from it, you don't have to be stupid all your life". Even though my parents loved each other their entire married life, my dad was fond of telling newlyweds, "Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence". Yeah my dad was kinda weird...
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Post by Legend Lover on Mar 13, 2018 14:23:00 GMT -5
When i did something stupid I'd hear...
If you had a brain you'd be dangerous.
Or
If you had a brain cell it would be lonely.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2018 14:25:19 GMT -5
Hijacking my own thread, but the last few posts remind me of kids saying, "How would you like a hairy knuckle sandwich?"
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Post by Dramatwist on Mar 13, 2018 15:08:17 GMT -5
...about my adolescent facial hair... "Put a little milk on there and let the cat lick it off."
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Post by Legend Lover on Mar 13, 2018 15:56:12 GMT -5
In Northern Ireland there's a saying that my mum used to say all the time... 'Up to high doh'
It means to be stressed-out / anxious.
Example:
How's your ma? She's up to high doh about this wedding...
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Post by crapgame on Mar 13, 2018 16:44:40 GMT -5
"If you keep that sh*t up I will put your arse in a sling"!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2018 17:19:02 GMT -5
Mom, though this is barely a phrase, would be taking me somewhere, would get mad at the least little inconvenience. "shite Damnit!" Her only curses. We grew up so cloistered in some suburban bubble we couldn't say we had to go pee. Can you imaging a five YO telling his teacher, in front of the whole class, "Teacher, I have to go urinate."
We were not even allowed to say the word Butt. Ten years old, get spanked, and still have to say, "my bobo hurts!"
Fart was not allowed. Now, before I go further, I swear, this is all not only true, but accurate. We could not say fart. So, when we farted in front of our friends it was either, "I burped out of the other end," or "I let a stinker."
I let a stinker was so used that when our friend Don's mom had a baby she wanted to kill me because her baby's first words were "I kinker."
Geez, I am tearing up writing this. I usually, if you hadn't noticed, flower up my stories a tad, but I swear, this is only a portion of it. Oh, Mom didn't say shite Damnit in front of dad
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