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Post by Dramatwist on Mar 13, 2018 17:23:29 GMT -5
Mom, though this is barely a phrase, would be taking me somewhere, would get mad at the least little inconvenience. "shite Damnit!" Her only curses. We grew up so cloistered in some suburban bubble we couldn't say we had to go pee. Can you imaging a five YO telling his teacher, in front of the whole class, "Teacher, I have to go urinate." We were not even allowed to say the word Butt. Ten years old, get spanked, and still have to say, "my bobo hurts!" Fart was not allowed. Now, before I go further, I swear, this is all not only true, but accurate. We could not say fart. So, when we farted in front of our friends it was either, "I burped out of the other end," or "I let a stinker." I let a stinker was so used that when our friend Don's mom had a baby she wanted to kill me because her baby's first words were "I kinker." Geez, I am tearing up writing this. I usually, if you hadn't noticed, flower up my stories a tad, but I swear, this is only a portion of it. Oh, Mom didn't say shite Damnit in front of dad ...great stuff, David... one of the great pleasures of a certain age is the freedom to curse at will...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2018 13:07:54 GMT -5
Not sure what side of the family this one came from, or maybe a movie. I just got done agreeing with someone on Twitter, a rarity, and I typed "You ain't just whistlin' Dixie" before I realized I had typed it. Haven't used that for decades, but there it was... or still is... unless Twitter suspends me again
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Post by Darin on Mar 14, 2018 13:35:59 GMT -5
From my Grandfather: It's called WORK for a reason ... if it was FUN they'd charge admission!
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Post by Scott W on Mar 21, 2018 20:39:02 GMT -5
Standing too long in front of an wide open refrigerator, while looking for something too eat, pissed off my mother. She'd sarcastically, say:...."You makin' a career outta lookin' in that refrigerator, or, what? I'm not partners with Con-Edison"! Ahhhhh....to be back in those good old days! Frank NYC My father worked for Con-Ed for 37 years, when we left the lights on at home he’d say “I just work for the company, I don’t f**king own it!!”
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Post by trailboss on Mar 21, 2018 22:11:31 GMT -5
In Northern Ireland there's a saying that my mum used to say all the time... 'Up to high doh' It means to be stressed-out / anxious. Example: How's your ma? She's up to high doh about this wedding... I had a co-worker from Liverpool ask the lady in HR “What’s got your pecker up” after she had an animated dialogue...His meaning was “why is your beak in the air” he explained that he wasn’t suggesting she was a hermaphrodite. It went downhill from there.
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Post by mwps70 on Mar 21, 2018 22:19:34 GMT -5
My mom has a bit of an anger management problem and I can remember as a kid and even recently, she had a saying "I'm so mad I could chew nails". If that was directed at me I knew either a fly swatter or possibly a yard stick was coming out...run forest run!
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Post by Lady Margaret on Mar 23, 2018 9:50:20 GMT -5
i know i heard a lot of good ones growing up but not many are coming to mind. my Mom frequently told us if we didn't quit crying she'd give us something to cry about. Dad would remark that we could tear up an anvil with a rubber hammer. i personally have used "more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
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Post by oldcajun123 on Mar 23, 2018 10:37:43 GMT -5
I had a saying that would really tee my wife off. Being a frugal Cajun I would sometimes buy something that cost a bit, I was always for Quality and we know that costs. When my wife would rail about the money I would say IVE GOT MORE MONEY THAN THE BIG OX CAN shite. Bringing a howl from the wife.
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Post by Legend Lover on Mar 23, 2018 11:36:12 GMT -5
I had a saying that would really tee my wife off. Being a frugal Cajun I would sometimes buy something that cost a bit, I was always for Quality and we know that costs. When my wife would rail about the money I would say IVE GOT MORE MONEY THAN THE BIG OX CAN shite. Bringing a howl from the wife. Fantastic
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Post by Pistol Pete 1911 on Jul 13, 2018 22:54:54 GMT -5
My grandmother Mamie, would say ha shoe, ha shoe the Indians are coming. And after 48 years I still have no idea why.
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Post by Stanhill on Jul 13, 2018 23:26:23 GMT -5
At dinner, when I was pushing the over boiled vegetables around on my plate, my mother would say to me,"Eat your vegetable! Children are starving in Europe!" To which I would reply, while lifting my plate, "Here, sent this to them!" I tried that once, except the children were starving in Africa, but as soon as I regained consciousness, I still had to eat the damned veggies.
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Post by Stanhill on Jul 13, 2018 23:31:05 GMT -5
Mom, though this is barely a phrase, would be taking me somewhere, would get mad at the least little inconvenience. "shite Damnit!" Her only curses. We grew up so cloistered in some suburban bubble we couldn't say we had to go pee. Can you imaging a five YO telling his teacher, in front of the whole class, "Teacher, I have to go urinate." We were not even allowed to say the word Butt. Ten years old, get spanked, and still have to say, "my bobo hurts!" Fart was not allowed. Now, before I go further, I swear, this is all not only true, but accurate. We could not say fart. So, when we farted in front of our friends it was either, "I burped out of the other end," or "I let a stinker." I let a stinker was so used that when our friend Don's mom had a baby she wanted to kill me because her baby's first words were "I kinker." Geez, I am tearing up writing this. I usually, if you hadn't noticed, flower up my stories a tad, but I swear, this is only a portion of it. Oh, Mom didn't say shite Damnit in front of dad ...great stuff, David... one of the great pleasures of a certain age is the freedom to curse at will... ...and fart at will. Poor Will.
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Post by AJ on Jul 13, 2018 23:40:11 GMT -5
When I was acting a bit too cocky my Dad would say, “ You would be better off trying to kiss a tiger’s butt in a phone booth.” If there was some task or project he was reluctant to do he would often say, “ I’d rather kiss the butt of a bear.”
AJ
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Post by roadsdiverged on Jul 14, 2018 8:15:37 GMT -5
If my grandma was watching TV and one of us grandkids stood in front of it, she would say "you make a better door than a window." Another variation was "your dad wasn't a window maker."
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2018 9:54:06 GMT -5
My Mom Rest Her Soul .......” don’t keep touching that, one day it will fall off “! What’s funny, sometimes I can still hear my Mom saying it 😂😂
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Post by scrooge on Jul 14, 2018 10:02:06 GMT -5
The one I remember most. Go pick out the switch you want me to use.
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Post by william on Jul 14, 2018 11:33:36 GMT -5
The one I remember most. Go pick out the switch you want me to use. I had to cut one off a fig tree. It proved to be a quite exquisite experience when landing on the back of my thighs.
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Post by william on Jul 14, 2018 11:34:49 GMT -5
Oh--and my grandmother used to tell me I was "as independent as a hog on ice." I had no idea what that meant, but I knew it wasn't good.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2018 12:08:29 GMT -5
"F*cked by the fickle finger of fate."
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Post by jeffd on Jul 14, 2018 22:54:38 GMT -5
My Dad used to say "Watch out, the fool killer is out tonight."
Here's one: He smiled like a fox eating shite out of a wire brush.
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Post by Cramptholomew on Jul 15, 2018 7:52:11 GMT -5
My grandfather always had weird stuff to say. Here are a few:
"Would you rather walk to work, or carry your lunch?"
"I'll tell you the story of Jackie McGory and how he fell down from the second story"
"Listen my children and you shall hear the Midnight ride of Diarrhea. Over the covers, under the sheets, down the hall to the toilet seat."
"Come here til I see ya."
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2018 8:08:12 GMT -5
Two of my Dad’s favorite sayings........
Dad, I’m bored. He’d say...” go take a long walk off a short pier “ .
Dad, there’s nothing to do....” go in your room and bang your head against the wall for a while “!
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Post by trailboss on Jul 15, 2018 10:43:08 GMT -5
"You got another think coming"...Judas Priest made a song outta grandma's phrase. I remember one time when my daughter was a little girl, I was frustrated about something and said without thinking to the wife, "I could have killed her". I looked down and saw tears streaming down her face, she took me literally...I then knew what it must feel like to be the the lowest scumbag on earth. From then on, I made it a point to think through what I said, and not parrot a line I had heard a million times. "i brought you into this world, I can take you out of it" If you say that to your kid seriously, things have gotten pretty bad or you do have Damien as a son.
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Post by Matthew on Jul 15, 2018 18:23:28 GMT -5
A couple of my Mom's favorites:
1.Put that in your pipe and smoke it. More or less something has you shorts in a knot and you just have to accept it. 2.You'll just have to get Glad in the same skin you got Mad in. In other words,just get over it and move on.
And lest I forget,one of her very favorite skits; That's life What's life A Magazine How much does it cost? A quarter I don't have a quarter That's life What's life etc etc etc until you laughed or made the stupid mistake of stomping off,then you got to stomp back and forth until you laughed,,,didn't take long.
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Post by Florida on Jul 15, 2018 18:29:32 GMT -5
Standing too long in front of an wide open refrigerator, while looking for something too eat, pissed off my mother. She'd sarcastically, say:...."You makin' a career outta lookin' in that refrigerator, or, what? I'm not partners with Con-Edison"! Ahhhhh....to be back in those good old days! Frank NYC That's so true! Like something would magically appear if we went back or kept looking. 👍
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2018 22:01:31 GMT -5
Mom used to say, " he's so feminine I bet he squats to pee"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 7:28:00 GMT -5
That's a rough row to hoe boy! Two bits. Half of one, six of another. Anyone can be your father you only have one mother.
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Post by cgvt on Jul 17, 2018 9:15:08 GMT -5
An old friend had a saying for someone that has terrible luck. It is not appropriate for mixed company, but I find myself saying it every now and then.
If if was raining pussies, he'd get hit in the face with an asshole.
Sorry if this is inappropriate, but it cracks me up every time I think of it.
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Post by oldcajun123 on Jul 17, 2018 15:00:59 GMT -5
CG I love it.!
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Post by Goldbrick on Nov 13, 2018 19:57:12 GMT -5
When someone was close with a dollar, my uncle would say " that guy wouldn't pay a buck to see the Statue of liberty take a shite "
when under the weather my Dad would say " I been shot at and missed ,but shite at and hit"
when making a point Ma would say " I KNOW ONE THING...AND THAT AIN'T TWO!"
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