Sayings your Parents, Family, and Friends used to say

That one still slips out of my mouth from time to time!

Maybe it's a UK thing.

Ha, don't we all. You'll fit in well here.

My dad had a few gems, my favorite is "can't never could do anything, and he died trying."
And " don't think, know, if you don't know, find out."
Another good one, " why don't you use your head for somethin besides growin hair on."

try to say these in your best west Texas accent!
RIP JDD love ya!

My Grandpa when encountering 2 people arguing "Stick em in a phone both and toss in a straight razor"

Learning English in the US and being from Italy my dad had a thick Italian accent and it smoothed out more as he aged but there were some saying that never changed.

If ima tolla you once ima tolla you ten thousana times, non you zagerate!

Ima no hava no aczent befo ima come ova year.

I would challenge him once in awhile and rib him and say Dad, you’ve been speaking English longer than I have and you still have an accent, I spoke Italian until I went to school being born first generation. The above was one answer the other was imo no go to school ova year.

My mother had a really bad temper and somehow her arms grew so fast you couldn’t get out of her way.

She would hide money since my dad didn’t make much, I never got an allowance, if I had money it was because an elderly friend would give it to me while visiting, if mom saw this it would be taken away after the person left, if she didn’t see it I’d put it away until I had enough to buy something I wanted then got drilled as to where the money came from. I told the truth I’d saved it up from when whoever it was that gave to me did and buy something I wanted. She’d see what I bought and never approved of anything then say “you’d buy shite if it came in a gold box” today I’d probably be rich if I did!

My godfather, my father’s eldest 1/2 brother would always say you know anymo bullshit? I like it.

When my wife and I were going to move to Maine my dad told me I better go ask my uncle for permission, keep in mind I was 27 y/o, spent 4 years in the Navy with a tour in Vietnam and I had to go ask my godfather for permission. I asked my best man to come with me and told him why, he was shocked since he was Armenian and their culture was far different. When I got to my godfathers house we passed the normal pleasantries and then I said “uncle Leo, Eileen and I are moving to Maine”. He looked straight at me, told me I had a very good job here, our entire family in the US was here as was my wife’s and what was they had in Maine you don’t have here. I simply told him the city I grew up in was no longer the same things were getting rough in places and while I did have a very good job with what I did being in high demand I’d already gotten a job in Maine and where we were moving to was near the ocean, besides it’s only 100 miles from here. As soon as I finished saying my piece he looked at me and said “hate lika hell to walk it before brekafess. I told him his father gave him $.17 when he was 17 years old and told him he was going to America and he didn’t have any say over it being 3000 miles and all water I doubt he’d walk it no matter how much time he was given but he made a life here for himself and that was what I planned to do in Maine by choice. He was very quiet for a minute then he looked at me and said God a blessa you.

My father had the worst time saying the word Thursday and it always came out sounding like the way he’d say Tuesday. I remember asking when we were going to do something and he’d say Toosady then when Tuesday came and we didn’t do what we were supposed to do I’d wait until the next day and asked him why we didn’t do what he promised yesterday and he’d say itsa tomorrow no yesturday, from then on I’d ask which Tuesday the one before Wednesday or the one after. As bad as that sounds my godfather was the same way only he couldn’t  say Tuesday right and had no problem, we’ll almost, with Thursday so between the 2 of them they could say the days of the week in English.

I walked in on my godfather one day while on leave from Vietnam waiting to go to my next duty station and found him with the newspaper in front of him and a pen in his where he was writing a letter to his insurance company about an error they made. I asked him what he was doing, he looked up at me and took off his glasses and said “I no go to school heah or even in Italy, so I usa the newspaper to get the words I need” puts his glasses back on to finish his last sentence crosses out a word in the newspaper then writes it correctly since it was an error, looks at me and said “the dama newspaper usa be better at spelling in the 1920’s, they maka too many mistakes now I gotta fixem. Lol

I have so many from me I don’t want to hog anymore space.
banjo

My dad used to tell me every day, since I was four or five, "Life is a bitch, and then you die." I love his generation.

My father used to say he was "all stove up", when his muscles were sore and stiff.

My dad had several “bear” sayings:
It’s colder that a bear’s butt.
Don’t tweak the bear’s nose.
Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.

My late friend James; Don’t pee on my foot and tell me it’s raining.
My dad; He’s dumber than a box of rocks.
You don’t have the sense God gave a goose.
James: He’s luckier than a two peckered pup.
James’s wife, commenting on a long suffering woman: She should push him down the stairs and tell God he died.

Apples never fall very far from the tree. Usually said when a son/daughter does something similar as their parents.

"You know, I’ll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him… the things he’d say to me."

Forum folks might ask "What did he say?"

“What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?”

in a similar vein, 'that guy is so tight, if he dropped a 50p it would hit him on the back of the head as he bends down to pick it up.

I am so going to use that one!

One of my late father’s favorites, only he used “heel” rather than “sole”.