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Post by Pistol Pete 1911 on Jan 1, 2019 22:34:03 GMT -5
Darker then I sack full of black cats
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Post by skeeter456 on Jan 27, 2019 14:02:04 GMT -5
The classic “ this is why we cant have nice things”
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Post by bigwoolie on Jan 27, 2019 14:40:55 GMT -5
"You picked the tune, now dance to it."
"You danced, now pay the fiddler."
"If it was supposed to be easy, they'd a' sent your little sister to do it"
"I'm gonna whip you so hard, there won't be enough hide left on you to patch the places where they ain't none"!
"I'm gonna wrap my leather fence around your fried chicken graveyard!" (My belt around your butt)
"I'm gonna cloud up and rain all over you"
"Hard tellin' not knowin'"
"Son, you gotta go through life like a mule eatin' through a bale of hay. If you come to a briar, dont stop. Just eat around it and keep goin" (Dad used that all the time)
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Post by bigwoolie on Jan 27, 2019 14:45:22 GMT -5
"You picked the tune, now dance to it." "You danced, now pay the fiddler." "If it was supposed to be easy, they'd a' sent your little sister to do it" "I'm gonna whip you so hard, there won't be enough hide left on you to patch the places where they ain't none"! "I'm gonna wrap my leather fence around your fried chicken graveyard!" (My belt around your butt) "I'm gonna cloud up and rain all over you" "Hard tellin' not knowin'" "Son, you gotta go through life like a mule eatin' through a bale of hay. If you come to a briar, dont stop. Just eat around it and keep goin" (Dad used that all the time) I just remembered a favorite from an old cowboy friend of mine he said all the time. "Women are like mules. A good one is priceless, but anything less is a $3.00 nightmare".
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Post by sperrytops on Jan 27, 2019 15:02:03 GMT -5
My father in law had a few:
"Who's it hung on?" (when he's impatient and waiting for someone) "If you're talkin' to him, you're talkin' to me" (when he's standing up for a friend or brother; there were seven brothers and one sister in his family. Challenging one meant you were challenging the entire family) "Luckier than a two peckered goat" (you can guess this one) There were more, but those came to mind right away.
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Post by sperrytops on Jan 27, 2019 15:37:58 GMT -5
Learning English in the US and being from Italy my dad had a thick Italian accent and it smoothed out more as he aged but there were some saying that never changed. If ima tolla you once ima tolla you ten thousana times, non you zagerate! Ima no hava no aczent befo ima come ova year. I would challenge him once in awhile and rib him and say Dad, you’ve been speaking English longer than I have and you still have an accent, I spoke Italian until I went to school being born first generation. The above was one answer the other was imo no go to school ova year. My mother had a really bad temper and somehow her arms grew so fast you couldn’t get out of her way. She would hide money since my dad didn’t make much, I never got an allowance, if I had money it was because an elderly friend would give it to me while visiting, if mom saw this it would be taken away after the person left, if she didn’t see it I’d put it away until I had enough to buy something I wanted then got drilled as to where the money came from. I told the truth I’d saved it up from when whoever it was that gave to me did and buy something I wanted. She’d see what I bought and never approved of anything then say “you’d buy shite if it came in a gold box” today I’d probably be rich if I did! My godfather, my father’s eldest 1/2 brother would always say you know anymo bullshit? I like it. When my wife and I were going to move to Maine my dad told me I better go ask my uncle for permission, keep in mind I was 27 y/o, spent 4 years in the Navy with a tour in Vietnam and I had to go ask my godfather for permission. I asked my best man to come with me and told him why, he was shocked since he was Armenian and their culture was far different. When I got to my godfathers house we passed the normal pleasantries and then I said “uncle Leo, Eileen and I are moving to Maine”. He looked straight at me, told me I had a very good job here, our entire family in the US was here as was my wife’s and what was they had in Maine you don’t have here. I simply told him the city I grew up in was no longer the same things were getting rough in places and while I did have a very good job with what I did being in high demand I’d already gotten a job in Maine and where we were moving to was near the ocean, besides it’s only 100 miles from here. As soon as I finished saying my piece he looked at me and said “hate lika hell to walk it before brekafess. I told him his father gave him $.17 when he was 17 years old and told him he was going to America and he didn’t have any say over it being 3000 miles and all water I doubt he’d walk it no matter how much time he was given but he made a life here for himself and that was what I planned to do in Maine by choice. He was very quiet for a minute then he looked at me and said God a blessa you. My father had the worst time saying the word Thursday and it always came out sounding like the way he’d say Tuesday. I remember asking when we were going to do something and he’d say Toosady then when Tuesday came and we didn’t do what we were supposed to do I’d wait until the next day and asked him why we didn’t do what he promised yesterday and he’d say itsa tomorrow no yesturday, from then on I’d ask which Tuesday the one before Wednesday or the one after. As bad as that sounds my godfather was the same way only he couldn’t say Tuesday right and had no problem, we’ll almost, with Thursday so between the 2 of them they could say the days of the week in English. I walked in on my godfather one day while on leave from Vietnam waiting to go to my next duty station and found him with the newspaper in front of him and a pen in his where he was writing a letter to his insurance company about an error they made. I asked him what he was doing, he looked up at me and took off his glasses and said “I no go to school heah or even in Italy, so I usa the newspaper to get the words I need” puts his glasses back on to finish his last sentence crosses out a word in the newspaper then writes it correctly since it was an error, looks at me and said “the dama newspaper usa be better at spelling in the 1920’s, they maka too many mistakes now I gotta fixem. Lol I have so many from me I don’t want to hog anymore space. banjo Wonderful story. Those are priceless and soon lost. Hang on to that one!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2019 17:55:28 GMT -5
If wishers were horses, beggars would ride.
How many chucks can a woodchuck chuck? As much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
How many wells does it take to make a river? Doesn't take wells, takes water.
I know there were a lot more, this is all I can remember at the time.
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Post by oldcajun123 on Jan 28, 2019 18:13:03 GMT -5
You know when you’re from S Louisiana when as a small child they tell you Don’t Eat The Dead Ones.!
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Post by kbareit on Jan 28, 2019 18:30:51 GMT -5
My parents would ask if i would jump of a cliff because my friends did. Smart a$$ that I am would reply yes and you saw me do it. We had a swimming hole that had a cliff we would jump off of. I don't know how they survived me, I put them through the ringer more than a few times.
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driftingfate
Junior Member
Posts: 497
First Name: David
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Post by driftingfate on Jan 28, 2019 18:34:15 GMT -5
"The line starts behind me."
"No one ever said life was fair."
"Everyone's job description is the same: 'Do what your boss tells you to do.'"
-my father to me on any number of occasions
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Post by libertysmoke on Jan 29, 2019 6:00:59 GMT -5
1. AH ! Your aunt tilly
2. HOLY SMOKES / Holy Moly !
3. Grandma : "oh go s_it in your hat"
I'll refrain from the Sicilian stuff .
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