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Post by AJ on Nov 23, 2018 12:57:02 GMT -5
THIS BRINGS BACK MEMORIES!
Most of us over 45 were Home Schooled - in many ways
1 My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2 My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3 My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
I f you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4 My father taught me LOGIC .
"Because I said so, that's why.”
5 My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.”
6 My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.”
7 My father taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.”
8 My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9 My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!”
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.”
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
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Post by pepesdad1 on Nov 23, 2018 13:00:12 GMT -5
All sounds familiar...how 'bout you?
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Post by mwps70 on Nov 23, 2018 13:07:34 GMT -5
Wow so many of these I heard many many times. My mother when we made her too mad would teach us magic...she would say that she is so mad she could chew nails and I don't think she meant fingernails...pretty sure 6 penny lol
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Post by trailboss on Nov 23, 2018 13:13:02 GMT -5
Grandma:“You’ve got another think coming”
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Post by Darin on Nov 23, 2018 13:19:13 GMT -5
My dad taught me DEMOLITION: "I'll put you through that F&$&ing wall"!!  There is a Netflix Series written by Bill Burr called F is For Family and many of these old lines are resurrected. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2018 13:24:23 GMT -5
AJ, I’ve heard them all and then some!!
Only one I can add that I learned from my Dad......” If it smells bad, don’t eat it “!!!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2018 14:02:23 GMT -5
This one particularly sticks in my mind:
10. "You'll sit there until all that spinach [Brussel sprouts, etc] is gone.”
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Post by Legend Lover on Nov 23, 2018 16:36:07 GMT -5
I can relate. It's like you recorded my mum in some of those.
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Post by william on Nov 23, 2018 19:05:20 GMT -5
Shortly after becoming a dad "Because I said so" was a prime part of my vocabulary....... |
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Post by kxg on Nov 23, 2018 23:36:06 GMT -5
Wait until your dad gets home. Helped me develop a sense of delayed gratification.
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Post by papipeguy on Nov 23, 2018 23:40:49 GMT -5
Thanks for bringing back the nightmares of my youth.
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Post by william on Nov 24, 2018 8:24:33 GMT -5
AJ, I’ve heard them all and then some!! Only one I can add that I learned from my Dad......” If it smells bad, don’t eat it “!!! I admit to being a "sniffer." If I open a can of something to eat, I smell it first. Unscrew the top off a fresh gallon of milk, I sniff it. Etc., etc..... The nose knows..... |
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Post by Legend Lover on Nov 24, 2018 8:32:56 GMT -5
AJ, I’ve heard them all and then some!! Only one I can add that I learned from my Dad......” If it smells bad, don’t eat it “!!! I admit to being a "sniffer." If I open a can of something to eat, I smell it first. Unscrew the top off a fresh gallon of milk, I sniff it. Etc., etc..... The nose knows..... I'm with you on that one too...in fact, it's why I originally considered pipe smoking. I love the smell of the tobacco and the smoke. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2018 9:30:18 GMT -5
AJ, I’ve heard them all and then some!! Only one I can add that I learned from my Dad......” If it smells bad, don’t eat it “!!! I admit to being a "sniffer." If I open a can of something to eat, I smell it first. Unscrew the top off a fresh gallon of milk, I sniff it. Etc., etc..... The nose knows..... Yup, I do the same! But I never smellthehatfirst before putting it on my head.......lol |
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Post by Pistol Pete 1911 on Dec 4, 2018 7:40:11 GMT -5
When traveling by cay I would always act up and eventually here "do you want me to come back there" and I always thought sure c'mon or "I will turn this car around and we will go straight back home" and I would thing go ahead I didn't wanna go any way
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Post by mwps70 on Dec 4, 2018 8:06:20 GMT -5
When traveling by cay I would always act up and eventually here "do you want me to come back there" and I always thought sure c'mon or "I will turn this car around and we will go straight back home" and I would thing go ahead I didn't wanna go any way Ours was, "If you two don't stop fighting I'll pull the car over and you won't like what will happen if I have to pull the car over." |
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Post by Low and Slow on Jan 10, 2019 10:53:44 GMT -5
When I was a kid acting a fool, dad would ball up his fist and ask, " you wanna smell this?" I used to grab his hand as strong and tight as I could and give it a real sarcastic sniff. He never punched me... Thanks dad! RIP JDD
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Post by monbla256 on Jan 10, 2019 16:43:47 GMT -5
Sadly, say those things to your kids today and they'll lock you up for child abuse ! 
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Post by kbareit on Jan 10, 2019 19:50:25 GMT -5
My dad taught me DEMOLITION: "I'll put you through that F&$&ing wall"!! There is a Netflix Series written by Bill Burr called F is For Family and many of these old lines are resurrected. My dad always asked if I wanted to taste to taste the wall and did a few times. Didn't taste all that great. |
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Post by unknownpipesmoker on Jan 10, 2019 21:16:02 GMT -5
All of my dogs were home schooled! Cats.. well. You can't can't school the suckers. They come into the world thinking they're already schooled. Kind of like humans.
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Post by peterd-Buffalo Spirit on Jan 10, 2019 21:34:42 GMT -5
...great post AJ...all ring true! I remember them well...
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