|
Post by AJ on Jan 26, 2019 20:35:59 GMT -5
---Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them. A few follow: 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify... " I answered " a doctor." 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
|
|
|
Post by peterd-Buffalo Spirit on Jan 26, 2019 20:54:36 GMT -5
...first class AJ!
|
|
|
Post by kbareit on Jan 26, 2019 20:59:22 GMT -5
Thanks AJ, got a good chuckle out of that.
|
|
|
Post by libertysmoke on Jan 26, 2019 20:59:48 GMT -5
Good shhhtuff '
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2019 21:07:25 GMT -5
AJ, thanks for posting .....just amazing how true all 17 really are👍👍
|
|
jackdiamond
Full Member
Posts: 860
First Name: Montgomery
Favorite Pipe: Savinelli Lollo
Favorite Tobacco: Davidhoff Flake Medallions. No wait, Semois. No wait, Squadron Leader. Ugh. I dunno.
Location:
|
Post by jackdiamond on Jan 26, 2019 21:08:32 GMT -5
Love it. Churchill was an amazing dude.
|
|
|
Post by AJ on Jan 26, 2019 21:47:24 GMT -5
My favorites are 2; 6; 15; 17. What are your favorites?
AJ
|
|
|
Post by pepesdad1 on Jan 26, 2019 21:59:42 GMT -5
Had to log on just to copy that to a word document and save...thanks, AJ.
|
|
|
Post by roadsdiverged on Jan 26, 2019 22:02:41 GMT -5
4, 6, 12 and 15
|
|
|
Post by trailboss on Jan 26, 2019 22:03:26 GMT -5
My favorites are 2; 6; 15; 17. What are your favorites? AJ “My farts have a wonderful aroma. Glad that you enjoy them too.” Winston was quite the character.
|
|
|
Post by AJ on Jan 26, 2019 22:12:30 GMT -5
My favorites are 2; 6; 15; 17. What are your favorites? AJ “My farts have a wonderful aroma. Glad that you enjoy them too.” Winston was quite the character. AJ
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2019 23:10:53 GMT -5
My favorites are without a doubt # 11 & # 17
|
|
|
Post by McWiggins on Jan 26, 2019 23:11:18 GMT -5
I love these! I think one of my favorite jokes of all time falls into this sort of thing.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep my like grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
|
|
|
Post by McWiggins on Jan 26, 2019 23:14:14 GMT -5
Oh! Another favorite of mine from the great Rodney Dangerfield. I hope I run into you again sometime... when I'm driving!
|
|
|
Post by qmechanics on Jan 27, 2019 3:29:07 GMT -5
|
|
jackdiamond
Full Member
Posts: 860
First Name: Montgomery
Favorite Pipe: Savinelli Lollo
Favorite Tobacco: Davidhoff Flake Medallions. No wait, Semois. No wait, Squadron Leader. Ugh. I dunno.
Location:
|
Post by jackdiamond on Jan 27, 2019 9:40:21 GMT -5
Favorites are 1, 5, 7, & 16.
|
|
|
Post by Legend Lover on Jan 27, 2019 11:49:34 GMT -5
Fantastic, AJ. Number 12 is brilliant, but I like them all.
|
|
|
Post by pepesdad1 on Jan 27, 2019 11:57:22 GMT -5
All are good, without a doubt...like I said above...had to save them to a word document for future use and enjoyment.
|
|
|
Post by Darin on Jan 27, 2019 13:23:14 GMT -5
Good ones! Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
|
|
|
Post by sperrytops on Jan 27, 2019 13:47:00 GMT -5
Entertaining thread, thanks so much, AJ.
|
|
|
Post by Low and Slow on Jan 30, 2019 13:06:06 GMT -5
Great post AJ! 6,7,11,12 and the Rodney Dangerfield one Mcwiggins posted😆
|
|
|
Post by Pistol Pete 1911 on Jan 31, 2019 7:42:06 GMT -5
Excellent thread! I love them all but my favorite is #6
|
|
|
Post by papipeguy on Jan 31, 2019 11:35:07 GMT -5
Great stuff. From Steven Wright, "If at first you don't succeed then skydiving probably isn't for you."
|
|