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Post by sparks on Feb 13, 2019 9:52:26 GMT -5
I will first start off my giving my apologies for having been indisposed as of late. Work has been very busy, and I have had much going on in my personal life (all good if you care to know).
That being said... I pop back in to see how things are, and it seems that this place has turned into a shite show. Threads being closed left and right, people jumping on others over the smallest things. It's like walking into a amateur wrestling match.
I'm not sure what is going on. Maybe the weather and too many people are stuck in the house? Maybe Mercury is in retrograde or some shite like that? Whatever the reason is, I would encourage everyone to take a step back, and get their crap in order. We have worked too hard to build this place into what it is, I would hate to see it crumble into dust like some of the other sites over petty bullshit.
I'm sorry to have to come and give everyone a shellacking, but with all the time, energy, and money that goes into keeping this place running, it's frustrating to see some of our members--especially some of our CORE members--participating in petty arguments and personal attacks.
Get your shite together boys. Consider yourself lucky that it's not me with my finger on the bitch-slap button all the time. I may not be as generous as your amazing moderators, Andre, John, and Mike.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 9:58:18 GMT -5
You know Justin, I don't see the "bitch-slap" icon on my toolbar. Guess I need a few more posts before that appears Agree totally with your post
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Post by just ol ed on Feb 13, 2019 10:05:40 GMT -5
all's good here. Some may notice I don't post at all that many threads, mainly, as self learned from many years at old ASP, if the "header" don't look interesting, scroll on down. Main reason cause if I have nothin' to contribute worth bothering others with...why waste their time/effort. Guess helps at my ^*()__ age, to not cram both feet in mouth at same time. Hope I never guilty of same
Ed Duncan, 78 Batavia, NY
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Post by peteguy on Feb 13, 2019 10:25:32 GMT -5
I only attack those that deserve it. Which to my knowledge has been a single poster. Welcome back to the shite show.
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Post by qmechanics on Feb 13, 2019 10:42:49 GMT -5
It just goes to show you..What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Boy does that sound oddly familiar..π
Funny thing is religion, anti-religion and politics etc., did not find a sponsor in the disruptions. In reality religious, anti-religious and political thought are simply flash points that serve to illustrate how un-evolved we really are. Civil conversation is possible. However many people rarely if ever realise the truth of serious mature dialogue because they either love to force feed others and/or get butt hurt.
PS The biggest distraction came when one of our members went off the rails, claiming drug abuse and other issues were at least partially responsible. Many wished him well, including myself, though I cannot blame the other members for being a bit more upset by his shenanigans. Another thread I read that was blocked, had devolved into a few jokes about Kentucky, Given the replies to Ted's follow up apology thread, it appeared that our Kentuckian and everyone else knew the comments were said in jest and were taken that way like men not boys. It was concluded the supposed offense was not an offense at all. Legend Lover interpreted the thread in a more sensitive way than need be. Not to say, that I disagree about his monitoring role. I could not pick a better man myself.
Frankly, I am not sure how the blocked threads above, could have been avoided. This is one reason why, one should not lump all blocked threads into one big collective but examine them individually. Find the things you can correct, acknowledge the ideas you cannot and pray for the wisdom to know the difference. It is also wise not to blame the audience (You and/or your lieutenants can always point out trouble cases to be worked with, spoken to or maybe suspended or dismissed.). Often the members themselves jump in to change the tone successfully, without the hall monitors calling the home room teacher. Those brave foot soldiers of the patch should be applauded not chastised. This is not an us vs them type of group, unless you support the FDA's recent actions, like the one who smells hats (just kidding smellthehatfirst π).
There it goes again, dΓ©jΓ vu, something in the last statements sounds oddly familiar.π
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joeman
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Post by joeman on Feb 13, 2019 10:45:08 GMT -5
Justin...I am tempted to name-drop a large forum which I no longer visit (but I won't)...of which I'm reminded when guys act like this. It's half of the reason I left that group...the other half being the non-inviting inner-circle of members which can easily happen when a forum grows to a point where those who've been very active for a good while are only comfortable with one another. There's not much you can do about that, but fortunately, I see very little of the latter behavior here. My hope for the Patch is that with the massive growth over a relatively short time that things don't push more in the wrong direction.
Thanks for checking in and sharing your observations!
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Post by william on Feb 13, 2019 11:45:14 GMT -5
Daddy used to say "any drunk can take sides in a bar room brawl." I have found this advice useful more than once in my life....
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 11:56:28 GMT -5
I guess I've been lucky or maybe just not interested in some threads, because I've never came across any strife-ridden thread. I guess I just didn't click on the troublesome ones, for which I'm grateful. Remember what Sam Jaffe said in the original version of Lost Horizon, "Be kind to each other".
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Post by Darin on Feb 13, 2019 12:06:21 GMT -5
Glad to hear that things are going well, Justin. Still smoking that Burley?
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Post by Ronv69 on Feb 13, 2019 12:30:33 GMT -5
Everything seems to have settled down on its own. Nothing to see here. Glad you are back.
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Spartacus
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Post by Spartacus on Feb 13, 2019 12:50:24 GMT -5
I must have missed the controversial post. Just my luck!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 12:59:29 GMT -5
This place is relatively tame compared to the corporation. Glass was broken and the alarm pulled weekly there. The mods are doing a great job IMHO, just right. Good to hear things are well on your end Justin. Welcome back boss.
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Post by roadsdiverged on Feb 13, 2019 13:19:21 GMT -5
Glad all is going well Justin.
It appears that things have settled down. It must have been thr moon.
"Cant we all just get along?"
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 13:29:48 GMT -5
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Post by peteguy on Feb 13, 2019 13:44:34 GMT -5
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Post by That Falls Guy on Feb 13, 2019 13:58:19 GMT -5
Completely agree Justin. Don't let this become another pipe forum battlefield.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 14:52:17 GMT -5
I'm here to celebrate pipes and tobacco for the most part. My biggest objections in the past have been foul language and this site veering into areas that seem more like Facebook etc.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 14:52:23 GMT -5
This forum is β extremely civil β compared to most. The β majorly β of the Patch members stay clear when a thread starts to go β badly β South. If I see a thread headed that way I will usually have only one comment and keep my distance.
This forum is made up of 98.5% of friendly knowledgeable people that cause β no issues β. All it takes to destroy a post/thread at any given time is that 1.5%.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 14:55:01 GMT -5
Part of the problem, for me, is that a few members seem to enjoy starting threads that are essentially for bitching about and criticizing others. These threads seem to assume that there is some standard acceptable type of pipe smoker, all with the same fashion, culture, beliefs, and social attitudes. I mean the threads about manliness vs wussies and wimps, about how horrible hip-hop is, about how lame hipsters are, the stupidity of women in the metoo movement, criticism of types of clothes, facial hair styles, etc. etc. If you give an opposing viewpoint, it quickly turns into tired cliche' attacks or ridicule, like "Find a safe space, snowflake!" and links to websites on how to grow a manbun. These posts are judgmental, intolerant, obnoxious, and to be honest keep me from participating here as much as I'd like to. I get tired of all the negativity and judgment.
Those posts are also not very welcoming to new members, especially pipe smokers do not conform to the acceptable standard of macho conservative white male gun-carrying country music fan, or whatever. Pipe smokers are as diverse as human beings, and a few members seem to forget that. Or maybe they don't, but they just don't care.
Apologies for my role in escalating the drama in some of these threads, but these are my reasons why.
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Post by oldcajun123 on Feb 13, 2019 15:10:00 GMT -5
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cappadoc
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Post by cappadoc on Feb 13, 2019 15:10:28 GMT -5
This forum is β extremely civil β compared to most. The β majorly β of the Patch members stay clear when a thread starts to go β badly β South. If I see a thread headed that way I will usually have only one comment and keep my distance. This forum is made up of 98.5% of friendly knowledgeable people that cause β no issues β. All it takes to destroy a post/thread at any given time is that 1.5%. But many times one comment is all it takes to feed the fire.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:13:37 GMT -5
I will not even comment to toxic.
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Post by qmechanics on Feb 13, 2019 15:21:17 GMT -5
Part of the problem, for me, is that a few members seem to enjoy starting threads that are essentially for bitching about and criticizing others. These threads seem to assume that there is some standard acceptable type of pipe smoker, all with the same fashion, culture, beliefs, and social attitudes. I mean the threads about manliness vs wussies and wimps, about how horrible hip-hop is, about how lame hipsters are, the stupidity of women in the metoo movement, criticism of types of clothes, facial hair styles, etc. etc. If you give an opposing viewpoint, it quickly turns into tired cliche' attacks or ridicule, like "Find a safe space, snowflake!" and links to websites on how to grow a manbun. These posts are judgmental, intolerant, obnoxious, and to be honest keep me from participating here as much as I'd like to. I get tired of all the negativity and judgment. Those posts are also not very welcoming to new members, especially pipe smokers do not conform to the acceptable standard of macho conservative white male gun-carrying country music fan, or whatever. Pipe smokers are as diverse as human beings, and a few members seem to forget that. Or maybe they don't, but they just don't care. Apologies for my role in escalating the drama in some of these threads, but these are my reasons why. I think I am offended by the picture that those who might disagree are all macho,conservative, white, male, gun carrying, country music loving people. It appears we all have our judgementsπ The question is can we respect the differences and have a dialogue. If one disagrees and no more civil words are forthcoming simply stop and build on the commonalities. Tolerance is not saying you have to agree and accept my beliefs nor does it mean that you cannot question beliefs and ideas. In my opinion it means truly respecting another's right to have a different opinion, his or her own mind,ability to express and deciding their path in life etc. Ridicule is not respect yet not seeing one's own limitations is also folly.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:21:57 GMT -5
I think I am offended by the picture that those who might disagree are all macho, white, male, gun carrying, country music loving people. It appears we all have our judgements. The question is can we respect the differences and have a dialogue. If one disagrees and no more civil words are forthcoming simply stop and build on the commonalities. Tolerance is not saying you have to agree and accept my beliefs nor does it mean that you cannot question beliefs and ideas. In my opinion it means truly respecting another's right to have a different opinion, his or her own mind,a ability to express and deciding their path in life etc. Ridicule is not respect yet not seeing one's own limitations is also folly. No offence at all to those who fit that description - my objection is to holding those characteristics as the "normal" standard by which to judge all others.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:29:05 GMT -5
I just wish people could try more to stick to the title /topic to a specific thread. One second you're reading about a special tobacco and then the next it all becomes about someones pet orangutan..
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:32:21 GMT -5
But many times one comment is all it takes to feed the fire. Absolutely but it's baked in the cake and there's no way to remove that one in this format. I think people here do an incredible job with that sort of interaction.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:35:21 GMT -5
I just wish people could try more to stick to the title /topic to a specific thread. One second you're reading about a special tobacco and then the next it all becomes about someones pet orangutan.. This ^^^^^^^^
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Post by Dramatwist on Feb 13, 2019 15:48:22 GMT -5
Thanks, sparks, for the reminder and admonition. For myself, I will certainly strive to be more circumspect in my comments.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:49:39 GMT -5
I just wish people could try more to stick to the title /topic to a specific thread. One second you're reading about a special tobacco and then the next it all becomes about someones pet orangutan.. Totally get what you're saying; however, I've never been part of a forum about anything which swings that way once people get to know each other over time. It's both a blessing and curse which comes with success and growth.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 15:55:14 GMT -5
I just wish people could try more to stick to the title /topic to a specific thread. One second you're reading about a special tobacco and then the next it all becomes about someones pet orangutan.. I would love more posts about pet orangutans!
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