Zarnicky found this tobacco review on web about the web.
May 6, 2022 6:03:55 GMT -5
Gandalf likes this
Post by Mrs. Zarnicky on May 6, 2022 6:03:55 GMT -5
Tobacco Review - Boswell's Sweet Tea. The first time I tried this tobacco was under very strange circumstances. Many years back, I was working on a small farm near a rural town in Nova Scotia. The man who had employed me at that time, was named Zuckerman. He was a lousy boss. I would say that the only thing that kept me working there was the fact that he had some connections to several other local farmers daughters. That's about it.
One day I had gone out to feed slop to Wilbur, his stupid runt of a pig. And that's when I saw it...
Written in a spider web, in the doorway above the barn were the words "Smoke Boswell's Sweet Tea" I was shocked. Never had I seen anything like this before. So I immediately jumped the fence to get a closer look, stepping on Wilbur's face and killing him in the process. Stupid pig. Sure enough, to my surprise, there in the corner in clear, coherent writing were the words "Smoke Boswell's Sweet Tea".
I ran to get Zuckerman, but the man was so fat, he could barely get up from his recliner, let alone make the march out to the barn. So I grabbed his stupid wife and brought her to the barn to view the spectacle. She was as amazed as I. After a few minutes, I left. I went to the general store to buy Boswell's Sweet Tea, as per the spider's instructions. But Mrs. Zuckerman who was almost as fat as her husband, had a more sinister plan.
When I returned hours later, Mrs. Zuckerman had begun to market the spider and sell tickets to see it. This really pissed me off. I was smoking this OK blend of tobacco at the time. The madness of her making money off of the spider's various messages involving Boswell's Sweet Tea, continued for about a week. The farm was going steadily down hill. Zuckerman himself still hadn’t even seen the web because he was so obese. The farm itself was going to ruins and was quickly becoming commercial. I had to end it. The story goes that the legendary spider died of old age, but I know better. I killed her. It had to be done in order to end the soiling of a good old fashioned miracle.
I left later that evening, gathering up all of my things, stealing a bunch of money from the Zuckermans and breaking their niece Fern's favorite doll on my way out.
The tobacco itself… Meh.
One day I had gone out to feed slop to Wilbur, his stupid runt of a pig. And that's when I saw it...
Written in a spider web, in the doorway above the barn were the words "Smoke Boswell's Sweet Tea" I was shocked. Never had I seen anything like this before. So I immediately jumped the fence to get a closer look, stepping on Wilbur's face and killing him in the process. Stupid pig. Sure enough, to my surprise, there in the corner in clear, coherent writing were the words "Smoke Boswell's Sweet Tea".
I ran to get Zuckerman, but the man was so fat, he could barely get up from his recliner, let alone make the march out to the barn. So I grabbed his stupid wife and brought her to the barn to view the spectacle. She was as amazed as I. After a few minutes, I left. I went to the general store to buy Boswell's Sweet Tea, as per the spider's instructions. But Mrs. Zuckerman who was almost as fat as her husband, had a more sinister plan.
When I returned hours later, Mrs. Zuckerman had begun to market the spider and sell tickets to see it. This really pissed me off. I was smoking this OK blend of tobacco at the time. The madness of her making money off of the spider's various messages involving Boswell's Sweet Tea, continued for about a week. The farm was going steadily down hill. Zuckerman himself still hadn’t even seen the web because he was so obese. The farm itself was going to ruins and was quickly becoming commercial. I had to end it. The story goes that the legendary spider died of old age, but I know better. I killed her. It had to be done in order to end the soiling of a good old fashioned miracle.
I left later that evening, gathering up all of my things, stealing a bunch of money from the Zuckermans and breaking their niece Fern's favorite doll on my way out.
The tobacco itself… Meh.
