Post by trailboss on May 19, 2017 16:28:06 GMT -5
www.moultrieobserver.com/opinion/columns/behold-the-wisdom-of-mark-twain/article_a265779e-3c99-11e7-a71a-0f113158e048.html
Mark Twain once said, “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that he can learn in no other way." And though he was often pictured smoking a pipe, I can tell you on this point Twain was not just “blowing smoke.”
I relate to his remark. It’s one of those moments you don’t forget ... like kidney stones or your first date.
Now I didn’t exactly carry a cat by the tail, but a similar event produced about the same results.
Many years ago my wife and I had an 18-pound tomcat. My veterinarian said it was one of the largest domestic cats he had ever seen. One day my wife said “Tommy” could use a bath. I agreed, and I told her I would bathe him. She said, “You can’t bathe that cat.” I should have listened to her. And at other times as well, of course.
My response was : “Tommy weighs 18 pounds and I weight 220. I can do this.”
So I put on my quilted hunting jacket and a pair of gloves. I picked up Tommy, went into the bathroom and closed the door. That was my second mistake. Never carry a big tomcat into a small room and shut the door if your intentions are to give it a bath.
It only took a few seconds to realize — without any room for interpretation — that I had made a grave error. The fact that I weighed 220 pounds and Tommy weighed only 18 pounds was totally irrelevant.
The whole scene was a blur. Cats are quick and devastating when they perceive a hostile situation. That cat was on my head, up and down my front and back and around my sides. My jacket looked like I had slept in a blackberry thicket.
My wife wanted to know why I didn’t just turn him loose. Well I did let him go, but he didn’t let me go. I don’t know if he was deliberately attacking me or if I was just blocking the door and became collateral damage. I think that’s what they call a matter of semantics.
Now I don’t know if Mark Twain ever tried to carry a cat by its tail or if he was just an astute observer. My problem was that I didn’t read his famous quote on this issue until after the “Day of Tommy.”
Since then I’ve read a lot of Twain’s observations just in case I have another opportunity to jump with both feet onto the stupid button.
In fact Twain had a lot to say about cats. Apparently he was a big cat fan. Let me share a couple of quotes from his musings:
• “One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
• “Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
While I have enjoyed Mark Twain’s writings immensely ever since Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, I prefer dogs over cats. And a side note: I never was any good at smoking a pipe. It would turn upside down, and I would be trying to cut a firebreak between my chin and regions to the south.
One of my favorite animal quotes is: “Call a dog, and it will come to you. Call a cat, and it will take a message and get back to you.”
I took away from that experience with Tommy some essential wisdom. Don’t always assume a size advantage. I was once taken to my knees by a kidney stone the size of a grape seed. But during the process of passing it, I would have bet it was as big as a basketball wearing spurs.
(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)
I relate to his remark. It’s one of those moments you don’t forget ... like kidney stones or your first date.
Now I didn’t exactly carry a cat by the tail, but a similar event produced about the same results.
Many years ago my wife and I had an 18-pound tomcat. My veterinarian said it was one of the largest domestic cats he had ever seen. One day my wife said “Tommy” could use a bath. I agreed, and I told her I would bathe him. She said, “You can’t bathe that cat.” I should have listened to her. And at other times as well, of course.
My response was : “Tommy weighs 18 pounds and I weight 220. I can do this.”
So I put on my quilted hunting jacket and a pair of gloves. I picked up Tommy, went into the bathroom and closed the door. That was my second mistake. Never carry a big tomcat into a small room and shut the door if your intentions are to give it a bath.
It only took a few seconds to realize — without any room for interpretation — that I had made a grave error. The fact that I weighed 220 pounds and Tommy weighed only 18 pounds was totally irrelevant.
The whole scene was a blur. Cats are quick and devastating when they perceive a hostile situation. That cat was on my head, up and down my front and back and around my sides. My jacket looked like I had slept in a blackberry thicket.
My wife wanted to know why I didn’t just turn him loose. Well I did let him go, but he didn’t let me go. I don’t know if he was deliberately attacking me or if I was just blocking the door and became collateral damage. I think that’s what they call a matter of semantics.
Now I don’t know if Mark Twain ever tried to carry a cat by its tail or if he was just an astute observer. My problem was that I didn’t read his famous quote on this issue until after the “Day of Tommy.”
Since then I’ve read a lot of Twain’s observations just in case I have another opportunity to jump with both feet onto the stupid button.
In fact Twain had a lot to say about cats. Apparently he was a big cat fan. Let me share a couple of quotes from his musings:
• “One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
• “Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
While I have enjoyed Mark Twain’s writings immensely ever since Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, I prefer dogs over cats. And a side note: I never was any good at smoking a pipe. It would turn upside down, and I would be trying to cut a firebreak between my chin and regions to the south.
One of my favorite animal quotes is: “Call a dog, and it will come to you. Call a cat, and it will take a message and get back to you.”
I took away from that experience with Tommy some essential wisdom. Don’t always assume a size advantage. I was once taken to my knees by a kidney stone the size of a grape seed. But during the process of passing it, I would have bet it was as big as a basketball wearing spurs.
(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)
