Everyone Has A Story

I was one of the unhappy people. I think Buck O'Neil should have been elected. The HoF does some inexplicable things, like electing people the year after they die: Ron Santo, Bob Prince, Neliie, Fox, Ernie Lombardi, etc. They should have had the chance to enjoy it.

Have you seen the Negro League statues at PNC Park in Pittsburgh? I was thrilled to see them.

Warning: This is a long post


I will be the first to tell anyone that will listen that although I may not be rich in material things, I am rich in experiences, friends and family.

Several years ago, 2011, my neighbor, the local H.S. football coach asked me if I would come speak to his football team. It was during the summer and he kept his team busy with physical training, strength building and character development.

When Chris took over the football program here we had gone 85 games in a row without a victory.  There was even talk of discontinuing the program all together.

His first year here they had a winning season and have done so every year since.  Have gone to State playoff's more times than I can remember.

The football scholarships went from zero to more than I can count.



Here's the the talk I had with them...





Winning in Life

I have had the privilege of knowing Coach Metzger since he moved here.
Over the years of our friendship I’ve had the good fortune of getting to know some of your other coaches as well.
Coach Metzger & I have talked many times about where we’re from, our brothers and sisters and some of the things we’ve done. Our victories as well as some of our defeats.
Inevitably we end up talking about Character, Honor, Integrity, Leadership & Teamwork and…. Winning
When Coach Metzger asked me to speak to you men I was both honored and nervous. After all, what do I know about coaching football, let alone a group of athletes of your caliber?
So, who am I and what do I know about Winning, Leadership or Teamwork?
Well, I’m just an ordinary guy that has been blessed with an extraordinary life.
I’ve been married to my wife Cindy for 22 years now. We have three kids. I also have 2 children from my first marriage.
I’m a business consultant with a company by the name of Ethos Group. I do Income Development and Financial Consulting with Automobile Dealerships. I’ve been with them for 10 years now and have been in the Industry for 23.
We’ve lived in Pinehurst for 6 ½ years now and are members of the Pinehurst Country Club. I like to go to my kids various sporting events. I also like to golf, scuba dive, sail boats, read, sing in the church choir and fly. I’ve been a pilot for almost 20 years now and own my own plane.
So, why would I tell you all of this? Sounds a little bit like I’m sorta bragging doesn’t it? Some rich blue blood born with a silver spoon in my mouth?

Well, I told you all of that to tell you this….
I was born in Moab Utah in July of 1963. By the time I graduated from High School I had attended 11 different schools in 7 different states. My dad was a master mechanic and worked on heavy equipment. So, wherever they were building a new dam, power plant, big tunnel, large mine or some other major construction site, we ended up moving there. To earn money as a kid, I shoveled snow in Wyoming, mowed lawns in Oklahoma and picked up trash and pulled weeds in the deserts of Arizona.
I also had the opportunity to play just about every sport available in the various schools that I went to… Baseball, Basketball, Soccer, Track & Field, Wrestling, Swimming, Dive Team and of course Football.
I think the reason we moved around as much as we did was because of my Dad’s desire to provide a better life for my sister and I than he had. My dads folks were share croppers in West Texas. Anybody here know what a share cropper is?
Don’t know if you’ve ever been to west Texas, but it seems that the only thing that grows out there is tumbleweeds and sage brush.
My dad is from a family of 8 kids. Five sisters and 2 brothers. They lived in a 2 bedroom farmhouse. No running water or electricity. Needless to say they didn’t have a bathroom either, they had an outhouse.
I remember asking my dad about his most memorable birthday as a kid. His birthday is on Christmas eve. Anyway, he told me it was his 14th. That was the year that they got electricity in their home. He received his very own lamp that year.
I know for some folks, moving around as much as I did would not have been a life that they would have chosen. Looking back on it now, I think it helped me realize that life is what you make of it.
What was it that Dr. Chuck Swindoll said?
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it”.
When I was born my folks lived a 10 wide trailer house. My first bassinette was the bottom drawer of their dresser. The interesting thing is this though, if you were to talk to our various friends and acquaintances, here in the Pinehurst area, my story isn’t really that unique. And really, in the big picture, it’s not some story about overcoming incredibly difficult circumstances.
It’s about choices. The ones I made, and some of the ones I didn’t.
When I graduated from Broken Bow High, in Broken Bow Oklahoma, I joined the Navy. I wanted to go to college but my folks couldn’t afford to send me. So I decided to see the world with my best friend Phil Pennington, and get my degree while I served as an enlisted man. We were both just a couple of naïve kids from the country that didn’t know nuthin bout nuthin.
While in the Navy I was blessed. Not only in what I learned but in the places I got to go to as well as the people I met.
Early on I realized that there were folks that were definite leaders and folks that weren’t. This intrigued me. Given the choice, why wouldn’t you choose to be a winner?
You see, over my life, God has blessed me with the opportunity to meet some amazing people, as well as the opportunity to read some incredible books by equally amazing folks.
It was while I was stationed in Pensacola Florida that I got the opportunity to meet a retired Marine Corps General. The General and his wife took a liking to me and pretty much adopted me while I was there. The General was the son of a Share Cropper from Tupelo Mississippi. He was an enlisted man working on Corsair fighter planes during WWII. He was actually the Crew Chief for Pappy Boyington, an Ace in the South Pacific.
During the war Jim received a Battlefield Commission. He went on to Fighter Pilot School and was an Ace himself during the Korean War. He was also the pilot for President John F. Kennedy. President Kennedy actually taught the General how to sail a boat, something he himself taught me some 20 years later in the summer of 1982.
General Jim was a reader. He told me that in his opinion, all great leaders over the history of man, were readers.
One of the first things he had me read was…
A Winner Says….
I’d like to read it to you all right now.



The winner is always a part of the answer;
the loser is always a part of the problem.
The winner sees answers in every problem;
the loser sees problems in every answer.
The winner sees possibilities everywhere;
the loser sees problems everywhere.
The winner always has a program;
the loser always has an excuse.
The winner have dreams;
the loser have schemes.
The winner make it happen;
the loser let it happen.
The winner sees the potential;
the loser sees the past.
The winner sees the gain;
the loser sees the pain.
The winner says, “I fell”;
the loser says, “somebody pushed me”.
The winner says “it may be difficult, but it’s possible”;
the loser says “it may be possible, but it’s too difficult”.
The winner says “let me do it for you”;
the loser says “that’s not my job”.
The winner says “I must do something”;
the loser says “something must be done”.
The winner does more than his job;
the loser says, “I only work here”.
The winner says “let’s find out”;
the loser says, “nobody knows”.
The winner says, “I’m good, but not as good as I ought to be”;
the loser says, “I’m not as bad as a lot of other people”.
When a winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong”;
when a loser makes a mistake, he says, “it’s wasn’t my fault”.
The winner believe in win/win;
the loser believe for them to win someone has to lose.
The winner listens;
the loser just waits until it’s his turn to talk.
The winner respects those who are superior to him and tries to learn from them;
the loser resents the superiority of others and tries to find chinks in their armor.
The winner stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
the loser stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.
The winner uses hard arguments but soft words;
the loser uses soft arguments but hard words.
The winner makes commitments;
The loser makes empty promises.

So are you a winner or a loser?

If a loser, no problem you can definitely be a winner if you are determined.

Jim also told me about an obscure basketball coach from out west.
This coach was born in October of 1910 in Martinsville Indiana. He is both a member of the Basketball hall of fame as a player, class of 1961, as well as a coach, in 1973.
He won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period — seven in a row[2] — as head coach at UCLA, an unprecedented feat.[3][4] Within this period, his teams won a record 88 consecutive games.[2] He was named national coach of the year six times.
Do you know who I’m talking about?
Yup, Coach John Wooden.

When Coach Wooden graduated from Grammar School, his father, Joshua, gave him a Seven Point Creed.
Be true to yourself.
Make each day your masterpiece
Help others.
Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
Make friendship a fine art.
Build a shelter against a rainy day.
Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.
So, let me ask you, what choices do you think Coach Wooden made? Do you think he chose to live his life according to his father’s tenets?

The General was the one that taught me that there was nothing I was gonna say or do that was going to teach me anything. If I was going to learn anything of value, I needed to read good books and listen to smart successful people.
Since meeting Jim I’ve probably read close to 2,000 books. I think I’ve read somewhere between 400 & 500 books in the last 10 years alone.
Now I’m not telling you that to be bragging or to try to impress you. But I am telling you this to Impress Upon You the value of taking responsibility for your own Success or…. Failure.

Author John C. Maxwell has written over 50 books and sold more than 12 million copies. He is an undisputed expert in the field of Leadership and Teamwork.
My favorite books of his are…
The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader
The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork
The 21 irrefutable Laws of Leadership

Don’t worry. I’m not going to read all of the books to you here this morning?
I’m not even going to read you all 59 things he outlines in his book.
I am, however, going to high light a few of them though.

In his book on Teamwork, Maxwell discusses, amongst other things…
The Law of Significance (one is too small a number to achieve greatness)
The Law of the Big Picture (The goal is more important than the role)
The Law of the Niche (All players have a place where they add the most value)
The Law of Mt. Everest (As the challenge escalates, the need for teamwork elevates)
The Law of the Chain (the strength of the team is impacted by it’s weakest link)

In the Laws of Leadership, Maxwell speaks about the importance of…
The Law of the Lid (Leadership ability determines a person’s level of effectiveness)
The Law of Influence (The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less)
The Law of Process (Leadership develops daily, not in a day)
The law of Navigation (Anyone can steer a ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course)

In 21 indispensable Qualities of a Leader you learn that…
Character (It’s what you do when nobody’s watching)
Commitment (It separates the doers from the dreamers)
Courage (One person with courage can be a majority)
Focus (The sharper it is, the sharper you are)


When I was stationed in Guam, out in the Pacific, I met a fella by the name of Juan Napatee. John, as he preferred to be called, was Guamanian. More specifically he was a Chamorro, a local native of Guam.
John was only 5’4” or so. He was a master skydiver with something like 1,400 or 1,500 jumps. Why would a little guy have that many jumps you may be wondering? Well, because he was an Airborne Ranger you see. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
John and I were neighbors. Our wives worked @ the same bank. John drove around town in a 1970’s Triumph Spitfire. The paint was faded and the chrome was rusty. But you’d think it was a pristine Jaguar XKE the way John went on about it.
You see, John won the car over a bet made on the beach one day in Agana, the capitol city of Guam. A guy was questioning John’s honor, reputation and his word. This guy didn’t believe that John could skydive, let alone have over 1000 jumps under his belt. And he sure didn’t believe that this little bitty Chamorran had ever been in the Army, let alone an Airborne Ranger?
The original bet was that John couldn’t jump out of a plane, freefall, deploy his shoot, and then land on a beach towel. For $1,000. John 1 upped the bet and said that he could land on a handkerchief. If he did this then he was gonna get the doubters car.
I’ve already told you how it turned out. John, of course, won the car.
But if the guy had known John’s life story, like I did, he would have never taken the bet.
You see, John, was a winner. Against all odds, he would find a way to persevere when everyone else thought there was no way.
It all started before his 2nd birthday. Yes, I said 2nd birthday.
I don’t know how much you guys know about WWII, but right after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, they invaded Guam. They rounded up all the locals and started executing the ones that resisted or the ones that were suspected of trying to aid the Americans. They executed them with their Samurai Swords, yeah, chopped off their heads.
Early one morning, John’s parents were warned that there was a group of Japanese soldiers heading their way. The fear was that John and his parents were going to be executed, his dad had worked @ the US Navy base before the invasion.
John’s folks loaded him up, again he wasn’t even 2 yet, and headed out through the jungle for some caves. While in the Jungle they were literally surrounded by Japanese soldiers.
Fearing for their son’s life, they placed him in the hollowed out trunk of a Banyan tree. The plan was for them to try to crawl on their stomachs, through the jungle, trying to lure the soldiers away. Later on that day they would come back and retrieve John.
They weren’t able to get back to John for 2 days! When the soldiers finally thinned out a bit they found their way back to the tree trunk, half expecting to find their baby boy dead from starvation or lack of water for 2 days.
When they arrived they found him sitting in the tree trunk singing to himself. The only thing they could figure was that John had eaten the fruit from the tree.
What does this have to do with anything you’re probably wondering?
It has this, John was a fighter. When no one else saw a way, he would find one. It took him almost 2 years to get the Army to finally let him enlist. They said he was too small and didn’t weigh enough.
Not one to take no for an answer, John hooked up with a neighbor. A retired Marine Corps Drill Sergeant and started working out, bulking up and drinking whatever the protein shakes of the day were.
After getting into the Army he then applied for the Rangers. Another two or three years later he was finally accepted and finished #1 in his class.
John went on to serve in Vietnam, 5 or 6 tours in all. He also served in Central and South America, not to mention Covert ops in places that he said he couldn’t tell me about.
He received something like 3 or 4 purple hearts, and either the Silver Star or the Bronze Star. John also received his Battlefield Commission and retired as a Major in the US Army.

I share all of this with you to again Impress Upon You this…
It’s not the Size of the Dog in the fight but the size of the Fight in the Dog.

Just because you’re 6’6” doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll automatically be a winner or a leader. Conversely, just because you’re 5’ nuthin, doesn’t mean that you won’t.

It’s what’s in here (heart) first, then here (head) that makes the difference.
If you take away nothing else from our time together this morning, Remember this guys…

It’s not accepting your lot in life. It’s making your own way.
You can either react to what life throws you or you can choose your response.

Success is a choice, make the right choice.

Success is a Choice. Make the Right Choice!




I have since left working for Ethos group and am currently the Operations Director and VP of Outbound Marketing for a small software company here in town.


Whenever I have the opportunity to work with young up and coming professionals or folks that definitely want to succeed, I try to impress upon them the four F's.

Faith
Family
Firm (Employer / Career)
Fun


Keep things in their proper place and maintain balance.




Here endeth the preachment.


Dino

If you're on Facebook, send me a friend request, and you can see the pics I took of them.

I want to tell you Margaret, you and the other Housewives are what makes us Men what we are, you are the unsung hero, never in front but always the line that holds, children fed, tended when sick, never ever say I'm just a housewife, I've never heard a man cry Dad on the battlefield when he was dying, it was MOMMA ! I take my hat off to you and millions other. The Old Cajun

Bonanzadriver...a great story with some important points...however, my view of Winning has changed over the years...I played many sports growing-up as well...didn't move around as much as you...in any case, perhaps age, experience  or change in attitude, I didn't see that "winning" was everything it was supposed to be...Even the very best at something loose from time to time...When my children were growing-up, I would watch parents/family members become monsters on and off the "playing field" and at various sporting events...I took the road of "learn all you can"..."do the best you can"...and enjoy the art and strategy of game play...from my vantage point, I look at my sons today and believe it served them well...


...just my thoughts...

Unfortunately, I grew up in a small town in Ky that had no culture. Sheltered in a family that was brainwashed into believing that you had to be endlessly aware that everything you did was watched and held accountable by a spooky invisible man in the sky, who was going to send you to an imaginary place called hell. Being told that I was a sinner, actually born with it, and not knowing any better, believed the repulsive,ridiculous violence in a book that said happiness can be found by bashing the heads of babies against the rocks. Couple that with an educational system that judged you by making everything a competition. No thought is ever given to the losers, No empathy for them. it's just about winning, holding up the trophies, accepting the blue ribbons, plaques for the wall, etc. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EQUAL COMPETITION. It;s called the Illusion of Superiority. This system induces low self esteem in society.
So finally I got out of high school and moved away from that place. ...the next 35 years was spent working in jobs I hated, working for people who didn't care about me or making any real money. It just provided plenty of things to talk about a the dinner table. Like the movie Fight Club " we work at jobs we hate, just to by more sh!t we don't need" Endless poor business decisions from people who had fancy titles, but really just Corporate Stooges. Like the Peter Principle- you are promoted to the highest level of Incompetency. So then 3 years ago I lost my health, had to quit work, am physically equal to a 90 year old man, and don't want to live another 29 years like this to get there.
I now spend too much time on the internet and wishing that I could go back and change 90% of my life. Where I was born, different parents, looking different than I do, doing completely different things in life, living in a Resource Based Economy world where there is no money,and no one has to work. The only thing I would keep the same would be my wife.
So in answering your question, what makes me unique? Absolutely nothing. Just another mindless, faulty Sheeple, living a life of regret. Wishing that l don't have to be here much longer to see society go further towards George Orwells prediction ( we are pretty close as all of us are under constant video surveillance once we leave our house)
I need a drink, a pipe, and headphones...lol

Next person

I opened my first investment account with $2,500 in 1986. Hilliard Lyons was my primary advisor, American Funds was my primary investment. Nothing but sunshine until the markets crashed in 2000. It was an extremely painful and expensive education. Long story short, I was fortunate enough to have properly planned in a cash position for the next crash in 2008 which I saw coming in 2006. Best thing which ever happened to me in my life. I could hear angels singing from the heavens. Markets up approximately 260% since, retired at 55 with enough money to burn a wet mule. Looking for a lake house now. Sweet and no apologies.

JMHO but I would wait until capital gains are paid out this year and begin building a strong cash position afterwards. Good luck.

Pete,

I'm pretty much with ya.  When my kids were little and involved in sports I was completely intolerant of the overbearing screaming fanatical parents and wasted no time shuttin em down.  I wanted my kids to learn the value of Learning a sport, Working on a Team, Accountability to self and others, and finally Finishing what ya start.

That being said I, as well as Chris (the coach) have utter contempt for the group think de jour ....  Ya know, "Everybody gets a trophy", "No Winners or Losers" mentality that seems to permeate all aspects of life nowadays.

We had spent quite a bit of time ensuring that our compasses were aligned and that the message we were conveying would not only reach the kids that lived in the country clubs but the surprisingly large number of fatherless young men living in the housing projects with their mom or grandma.  We were trying to offer a rational and logical mindset that was diametrically opposite of the message that was coming out of the White House at that time.

Chris didn't want these young men, on the down side of advantage, to shirk any responsibility or self accountability by of Blaming others for their situation, based on their skin color or zip code.


To land this plane, so to speak, I don't subscribe to the axiom "He who dies with the most toys wins" at all.  But I do think that we've all been given a unique opportunity to pursue our dreams, relatively unfettered because of our race, religion or gender.  Consequently allowing a temporary situation, disappointment or even major life event, to define the rest of your life & or keep you from achieving your goals or dreams is really your choice.  In other words, Life didn't Screw ya, but if you choose to "sit it out", it was Your Choice, not Lifes, or Gods.


As always...

YMMV

WTHDIK



Dino

Religion and Politics- the two things breaking up friendships since the beginning of humans communicating.

Regarding the Negro league, on an old episode of Antiques roadshow, I found this video clip fascinating...pretty cool find, and a helluva one for a $50.00 investment.


www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/season/9/st-paul-mn/appraisals/1951-willie-mays-jersey--200401A24/

Not looking for things that make anyone special. Not the point of the post. I find stories like pappyjoe's more interesting than the one I told. Everyone has had an experience that makes them unique. Just share one of them. No more negativity either. Everyone has woe is me stories but that is a different thread.

😂 

😀 +1000 Also