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Post by oldcajun123 on Aug 4, 2017 10:38:22 GMT -5
Subject: Will I live to 80?
>> I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests,
>> she said I was doing fairly well for my age.(I am past seventy).
>>
>> A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
>>
>> She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
>>
>> 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
>>
>> Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
>>
>> 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
>>
>> 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
>>
>> 'No, I don't,' I said.
>>
>> She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
>>
>> 'No,' I said.........
>>
>>
>> She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shite?
>>
>>
>>
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Post by peterd-Buffalo Spirit on Aug 4, 2017 10:43:49 GMT -5
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profrmdover
Junior Member
No direction home ...
Posts: 183 
First Name: Harry
Favorite Pipe: KBB Dorset
Favorite Tobacco: Escudo
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Post by profrmdover on Aug 4, 2017 11:00:02 GMT -5
Good one😂
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Zach
Pro Member
If you can't send money, send tobacco.
Posts: 4,052
First Name: Zach
Favorite Pipe: Too many currently, bound to change
Favorite Tobacco: Haunted Bookshop, Big 'N' Burley, Pegasus, Habana Daydream, OJK, Rum Twist, FVF, Escudo, Orlik Golden Sliced, Kendal Flake, Ennerdale
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Post by Zach on Aug 4, 2017 11:01:52 GMT -5
Nice
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goose
Junior Member
Posts: 304
First Name: Sam
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Post by goose on Aug 4, 2017 11:38:52 GMT -5
Awesome!!!
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Post by papipeguy on Aug 4, 2017 12:01:43 GMT -5
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Post by trailboss on Aug 4, 2017 13:03:18 GMT -5
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Post by lestrout on Aug 4, 2017 13:11:31 GMT -5
Yo oldc
LOL But a good shite is not to be discounted...
hp
les
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Post by fadingdaylight on Aug 4, 2017 13:40:50 GMT -5
Thanks Brad, I needed a laugh today
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Post by Darin on Aug 4, 2017 14:56:06 GMT -5
An oldie but goodie!!  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2017 16:29:10 GMT -5
My kind of doctor
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Post by That Falls Guy on Aug 4, 2017 16:59:00 GMT -5
My cousin and I went hunting, when, taking a leak in the woods, he was bitten by a rattlesnake.
“I’ll go into town for a doctor,” I said. I ran ten miles to a small town and found the only doctor delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”
I ran back to my cousin, who was in total agony. He asked “What did the doctor say?”
I had to tell him, “He says you’re gonna die.”
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2017 18:24:20 GMT -5
Strictly from a statistical standpoint, approximately half who live past 65 make it to 80. Not a bad gamble if one is on that side of 65.
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Post by just ol ed on Aug 5, 2017 8:37:53 GMT -5
I consider it amazing the # of folks who've allowed me to become 76
Ed Duncan, Batavia, NY
12/29/40
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Post by Artistik on Aug 5, 2017 9:17:34 GMT -5
When you are past 70, never trust a fart nor pass by a urinal.
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Post by billyklubb on Aug 5, 2017 10:18:55 GMT -5
I consider it amazing the # of folks who've allowed me to become 76 Ed Duncan, Batavia, NY 12/29/40 Maybe they just know better than to try.😁 Like I said in another thread, don't flerp with the old guys! |
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Post by trailboss on Aug 5, 2017 18:08:58 GMT -5
AN ELDERLY COUPLE LEARNED TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES.
THE WIFE, A RETIRED COLLEGE ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR WITH EMPHASIS ON THE
CLASSICS, WAS AN UNAPOLOGETIC ROMANTIC; HER HUSBAND, A RETIRED SALTY
NAVY CHIEF PETTY OFFICER OF THIRTY YEARS’ SERVICE, WAS A NO-NONSENSE
GUY.
ONE AFTERNOON THE WIFE WENT TO THE LOCAL STARBUCK’S TO MEET A FRIEND
FOR COFFEE. WHILE AWAITING HER FRIEND’S ARRIVAL, SHE EXERCISED HER
NEW SKILL BY SENDING HER HUSBAND A ROMANTIC TEXT MESSAGE: "IF YOU ARE
SLEEPING, SEND ME YOUR DREAMS. IF YOU ARE LAUGHING, SEND ME YOUR SMILE.
IF YOU ARE EATING, SEND ME A BITE. IF YOU ARE DRINKING, SEND ME A SIP.
IF YOU ARE CRYING, SEND ME YOUR TEARS. I LOVE YOU."
THE HUSBAND RESPONDED: "I'M TAKIN' A DUMP. PLEASE ADVISE."
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Post by Artistik on Aug 9, 2017 16:28:04 GMT -5
AN ELDERLY COUPLE LEARNED TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES. THE WIFE, A RETIRED COLLEGE ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR WITH EMPHASIS ON THE CLASSICS, WAS AN UNAPOLOGETIC ROMANTIC; HER HUSBAND, A RETIRED SALTY NAVY CHIEF PETTY OFFICER OF THIRTY YEARS’ SERVICE, WAS A NO-NONSENSE GUY. ONE AFTERNOON THE WIFE WENT TO THE LOCAL STARBUCK’S TO MEET A FRIEND FOR COFFEE. WHILE AWAITING HER FRIEND’S ARRIVAL, SHE EXERCISED HER NEW SKILL BY SENDING HER HUSBAND A ROMANTIC TEXT MESSAGE: "IF YOU ARE SLEEPING, SEND ME YOUR DREAMS. IF YOU ARE LAUGHING, SEND ME YOUR SMILE. IF YOU ARE EATING, SEND ME A BITE. IF YOU ARE DRINKING, SEND ME A SIP. IF YOU ARE CRYING, SEND ME YOUR TEARS. I LOVE YOU." THE HUSBAND RESPONDED: "I'M TAKIN' A DUMP. PLEASE ADVISE."  |
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