Shopping With Wife Under Duress

After coffee, Gray day Wife says you can't work in Garden, Let's go shopping. I have been avoiding this for so long I know I need to go or I will be on Big shite List. Antique store is first, we have a new Electric Fireplace & Mantle she just bought, flatscreen on top. She says it's too high, we look at a gigantic Salon table( very narrow ) she says what you think. I think if I say it's too big she'll be pissed and we can go back home and she can continue on her merry way.No Luck, she says I believe you're right, shite! On to Sears, we need a new Mattress she says, old one is 10 yrs old, I have my favorite hole in it, love it it's like a little foxhole, crap I say to myself. We look and look, finally exhausted from up and down , I see a bargain, She crazy about bargains, Floor Model Sterns& Foster floor model, was 7000$, only 1500$ now, her eyes glaze over, GOT HER. I tell her if you want it get it I'll be at the TVs , now we're talking. She finally comes back, she says what did you do while I was taking care of this? I sayI bought a 4K UHD 65 inch Samsung, now her hackles are up, You Did Not, I look at her and tell her YEP. We go home with her voice ringing in my ear, we were supposed to shop together, tell her cant help it it was a Deal.WOMEN, She wanted to shop didn't she.