G&H American Peach - Bless Me Padre, for I have sinned
Aug 30, 2018 22:42:36 GMT -5
antb, cappadoc, and 4 more like this
Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2018 22:42:36 GMT -5
Bless me, Padre. I have committed a grievous sin. Well, not yet. I am planning on writing this review of a tobacco. A Holy Project. I have mixed the magic potion of Padre Piper's Peach Blend... to my eternal joy. I heard the angels singing praises upon completion. Even the souls down below were wailing, "turn me on, dead man." Okay, Father, I digress. Padre Piper sent out something called Papal Bull. Man it was.... ooops, not for your nor God's ears. The edict said that the best peach blend in eternity was G&H American Peach. Now, darnit, Dad... I mean Podder... uh, Father, I only had a tuppence in the till, but I found out where my dear wife keeps her cache. Yes, there were razors there, thus the bandages. I bought two ounces of said best peach. It arrived yesterday. I lit a candle and did a Gregorian Chant over it, 'nam ya ho ren gye kyu, nam.'"
From the other side of the screen: Boy! I mean, my son. That's Buddhist.
"Okay, Padre. Well, I chanted over it. I sent the demons out of it and the John Barleycorn next to it, filled my bowl and lit it up."
From the other side of.. yeah, you got it: Well, me bucko, how was it?
"Daddyo, it just plain sucked! Weak orange and the dam... darned thing tasted like tobacco."
From over there: Faith and Begorrah, laddie! You chanted over it, sent the demons out, and it still tasted like sh.. dirt? Did you bother to cleanse your own soul before you tried it?
"Yes, Father, I recited the Stations of the Cross over and over again. 'Gichy gichy ya ya da da. Holka cholka starbucks latte.'"
Getting angrier over there: I see, my child. It seems nothing you did came out right, so I shall pray over you in Proper Latin this time.
The screen opens up, some hairy hands wrap around my throat and though my Latin is admittedly not that great, I believe he said, "St. Roddy Piper, please see that I am forgiven for choking the sh... stuffings out of this jerk!"
As I was passing out, my parting thoughts were, "I could have had a V-8." and I heard a voice say, "If you write that review, you will become the Anti-Piper and your damnation is assured."
The moral to this story is... If you like peach, "Boogie on, Reggae Dude. Ain't nuttin here."
If you like Average tobacco with a moment of peach, this still isn't for you.
It does have flavor. It's just not that good. It doesn't even rate Super Value Peach, without the added blends.
Since I don't think this is a review, my soul is safe. Hananim, Sarang Hamnida!
From the other side of the screen: Boy! I mean, my son. That's Buddhist.
"Okay, Padre. Well, I chanted over it. I sent the demons out of it and the John Barleycorn next to it, filled my bowl and lit it up."
From the other side of.. yeah, you got it: Well, me bucko, how was it?
"Daddyo, it just plain sucked! Weak orange and the dam... darned thing tasted like tobacco."
From over there: Faith and Begorrah, laddie! You chanted over it, sent the demons out, and it still tasted like sh.. dirt? Did you bother to cleanse your own soul before you tried it?
"Yes, Father, I recited the Stations of the Cross over and over again. 'Gichy gichy ya ya da da. Holka cholka starbucks latte.'"
Getting angrier over there: I see, my child. It seems nothing you did came out right, so I shall pray over you in Proper Latin this time.
The screen opens up, some hairy hands wrap around my throat and though my Latin is admittedly not that great, I believe he said, "St. Roddy Piper, please see that I am forgiven for choking the sh... stuffings out of this jerk!"
As I was passing out, my parting thoughts were, "I could have had a V-8." and I heard a voice say, "If you write that review, you will become the Anti-Piper and your damnation is assured."
The moral to this story is... If you like peach, "Boogie on, Reggae Dude. Ain't nuttin here."
If you like Average tobacco with a moment of peach, this still isn't for you.
It does have flavor. It's just not that good. It doesn't even rate Super Value Peach, without the added blends.
Since I don't think this is a review, my soul is safe. Hananim, Sarang Hamnida!
