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Post by Plainsman on Dec 9, 2021 12:28:14 GMT -5
I have dark visions for our country, most of the time. Then Dervis comes along and I feel a surge of love and hope for America. There just aren’t enough Dervises to turn it around I fear. Nevertheless, he makes me hopeful. And grateful.
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Post by dervis on Feb 8, 2022 12:52:23 GMT -5
Strange to think one month is already gone in this year. Plans and tires on the property just keep spinning due to all the mud. House still has several things dragging along. If you've read the posts above this is what I get for praying for more patience. It is still true that every night has a dawn , so every season has an end. I try and appreciate each season and what it brings, would be a lie if I said more hours of sunshine already did not excite me. After the day job I can finish up most chores without my headlamp now.
I was blessed to borrow a tractor and move a pile of dirt the septic installer said he was waiting on. It was 10 hours on a 30 degree day moving dirt across the property. Usually a job I get bored with fast, but had a cob full of a VA flake on reload all day. That balanced with strong black coffee kept me moving. Lunch time I was treated by an older couple down the road stopping to ask if I wanted any lunch. I've done a few easy things around their house for them and since they always check on me if they hear me outside for a while. I think my little place brings them memories of when they were my age. Which from their stories they worked me under the table back in the day, they were real farmers when their health/age allowed it. They do throw in they have a single granddaughter about my age, I always laugh them off and give them some eggs.
Their visit stayed on my mind the rest of the day. I could have thought about how I was cold, how noisy the tractor was, how I was doing work someone else had agreed to do, how my hours here meant that something else on the list was neglected. Which would be so easy to do. Instead I thought of that couple, how in their eyes and words I can hear a longing to be able to sit on a tractor all day and do exactly what I was doing. Jobs I might rush through they would relish the chance to do again. Their memory of the old wood house they started in, which I bet was so full of love it almost pushed the nails out of the boards. They'd probably hear the chickens over hearing the tractor, and think how good it was going to feel to warm up after a honest days work. And the woman who hugged me before she left and told me she was rooting for me. Another human , with no benefit other than wishing me happiness was rooting for me. I am truly blessed beyond anything I deserve. Even if I have to repeat that at nauseum to get through my think head.
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Post by don on Feb 8, 2022 16:52:24 GMT -5
Travis, you are living the dream, brother. Very impressed with what you have accomplished in a short time. I love reading your posts and seeing how the farm is progressing. God bless you in 2022, young man!
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Post by urbino on Feb 8, 2022 16:55:16 GMT -5
Great post, Travis. It's always educational to look at the world through someone else's eyes.
Hey, maybe that granddaughter comes with a tractor. You never know.
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Post by Yohanan on Feb 11, 2022 21:54:05 GMT -5
Your message warmed my heart, that can be a hard thing to do for me considering...God Bless You!!!
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Post by dervis on Apr 5, 2022 9:35:07 GMT -5
Last month or so has been busy , and will just be getting busier. Usually will slow down mid summer but with the house this year not sure if that will happen. House wise the wall insulation is all installed. Dad would hang during the day while I was at work , and I would clean up the work area, measure and cut enough at night for him to install the next day. I laughed at the elves/cobbler rotation we had going. Working at home it is very hard to sit at this computer and hear someone working on my house, even worse when its my dad. Next up are ceilings so we can blow in the insulation. Will be nights and weekends for me on that. None of the stores around hand the ceiling panels I wanted so they are on order. Hopefully they will be in soon. Going with the 4X8 sheets of plywood style beadboard. with 4inch boards running along the seams. Looks better in photos than sounds when typed out. Any other update would sound to much like complaining about the various companies Im working with. Which helps nothing so better left unsaid --- That's the update for me playing carpenter/ home builder Playing Farmer is just as busy currently. Got a dozen baby ducks to raise up and add to the rotation. They will help fill the freezer and some egg cartons. There are several home cooks in my family that are excited for them. Chickens are laying about 2 dozen a day now so that's in steady supply. One rabbit had a litter Sunday, haven't even counted how many yet. The other two rabbits should have litters by this weekend. Already put 20 or so quail in the freezer. We have another 30 that should hatch out by the 15th. Adding a few extra quail back because their eggs are my dads favorite, and even if he does not each as much as he did, takes lots of quail eggs to keep him fed. So meat wise (skip if this math is boring.) Have 10 older hens to process 3lbs each so 30lbs20 quail already in freezer with 25ish quail more to butcher within 20 months 14or so ounces each so lets say 25lbs3 litters of rabbits if we average 5 a litter thats 15 to put in freezer. At 2.5 lbs each thats almost 40lbs of meat there. 6 or so ducks to cull in 2 months. 7lbs each thats 40 or so lbs 2 deer that made their way into the freezer as well which was about 75lbs combined as they were smallish and didnt all come to me. So in just a few weeks work thats 210Lbs of good meat in the freezer. And the rabbits will do another 2 rounds this year, so 80 more, meat chickens will be 150lbs 10 more ducks so 70 quail 5 more rounds so another 50 or so pounds easily. So without including hunting or fishing can easily put 500lbs of meat in the freezer and stomachs of my family and friends. And most of this is done in about 10 hours a week or so chore wise. Crazy to think I used to sit in a car that long a week driving to a job I hated, and produced far less good. So meat wise the freezer is fine for a while. The vegetable freezer is getting a bit empty. Good thing about a month ago started tomatoes, peppers , and some things in the green house, and even more last weekend. Greenhouse time is some of my favorite. All the problems , stresses, everything slows down. The present pounding, ringing in my head is slowed down. Electric company, pluming seals, septic vents, wall paint color, construction cost increasing % every month. These things are slowed until they are not just out of focus but they are gone. There are brief passing thoughts of how good this squash will taste , how pretty the okra flowers will be, how the corn will wave in the storms, walking through rows to pick dinner with bees and birds doing the same. Filling bags into car trunks of strangers who become friends, the comfort of simply knowing no matter how bad something gets, I have food. These thoughts seem important but pass like clouds also. The real pleasure is focusing on the simple task of making soil blocks and putting a seed in them. Each time its a little bit of hope, and belief there will be a tomorrow. The miracle of simple life of dirt and a seed. I feel for people who think miracles don't happen anymore, I spent the weekend plating 100s of them. Even at what can seem the worst of times, I am blessed beyond anything I deserve. And at the end of the planting as I close the door to the greenhouse I remember my grandmother and repeat her words " grow my babies" 
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Post by Goldbrick on Apr 5, 2022 17:16:18 GMT -5
Good for you Travis, no pun intended, but I'm green with envy over that greenhouse. Nothing melts away the stress and toil of a hard day at work like time spent in the greenhouse. I don't know if it's getting your hands in the dirt, or the act of bringing something green and life-giving into a world where this has become an art. all I know is, after my worst day, a short time at the potting bench, and I'm humming a tune and smiling like a loony-bird.
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Post by Gandalf on Apr 5, 2022 20:29:10 GMT -5
Sounds great dervis. I'm a big believer in a freezer full of meat - of course all mine came from the grocery store. I keep a ridiculous number of "flats" of canned goods in the "pantry" too. I am planning to buy some bison for the freezer this spring. There is a place nearby that raises bison and sells the meat, hides, skulls - by appointment only. Bison "hamburger" and steaks have a wonderful flavor. The most gardening my wife and I do these days is going to be herbs this summer. That'll be nice for cooking and homemade sausage/brats.
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Post by dervis on Apr 27, 2022 20:22:47 GMT -5
Spring showed up without asking me if I was ready, seems getting gardens in the ground always has me feeling behind. House has been put on hold this week to get gardens of mine and friends/family going.  Got the gardens uncovered the past few days mostly by headlamp, and the weather was nice enough to let it dry out a bit. Something that has been rare so far this spring. I spent all day at my desk anxious as a kid at Christmas to get out there and till it up. It really is my favorite few hours a few times a year. As mentioned I rotate my chickens on the ground each year to improve it, and always love seeing the dirt every year move further from the red clay when I bought it. I have trouble slowing down, I have to keep moving , keep pushing forward, cant sit still and cant relax.... but there is something about the tilling. You cant rush it, you cant speed it up, it benefits from slow peaceful pace. Its not long before the smoke from my pipe and the slow pace has my mind at peace. I even try and fight it a bit, to think about projects, house stuff, farm stuff, animal stuff.... but I always come back to slow and simple. More often than not I start picturing my grandfather on his tractor plowing our old fields. He didnt smoke a pipe but cheap cigars on occasion, and usually on the tractor. Picturing his faded overalls, which I inherited from his passing last year and wore today as I tilled. They are a little tighter around the midsection than they were on him but they fit well enough for today. I thought about how even at a distance the smell of fresh earth would hit me in the face, same as it did today. Taking him water to drink my little boots sinking in the tilled earth. I am not sure how to describe how it feels walking in fresh tilled soil but I love it still to this day. Then leaving a trail of footprint paths to him that eventually would be wiped away again by the tractor passing. It always reminded me of the tide washing away footprints in the sand. I thank God for those memories, and having a man like my grandfather in my life, and thank God that he is now at peace. Lots of busy things going on around the place, Baby ducks, baby rabbits, baby quail. Remembered to take pictures of a few to put on here. Even the barn cats and dog saying hello on the afternoon chore round.     Wrapping up the chores tonight before it got dark, I would usually go to the house in progress and measure or plan or something, but tonight I think I will try and keep the tilling pace for the evening and see how it feels. As always I hope you all are doing well, and I truly am blessed far beyond anything I deserve.
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Post by oldcajun123 on Apr 28, 2022 9:39:26 GMT -5
 👍🏻😄👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🐣🦆🐓🦢🐇🐇🦨🌶🫑🌽🥦🚜🚜🚜🚜. Keep on reminding us of a more simple and good life.
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Post by dervis on May 9, 2022 10:55:46 GMT -5
I have been burning the candle at both ends lately. Learning I am a slow carpenter , and that I'm not in my 20s anymore, and most important if you tilt your head back far enough with a forgotten cob in your mouth, ashes will fall on your face. Started putting the bead board panels on the ceiling , but in handling them I was afraid the 2ft gap in the rafters would eventually let them ripple. So the plan was updated to include cutting 300 something 2x4s to put between the rafters.   Which I did get the two bedrooms done cutting boards before starting my day job and then putting them up after afternoon chores. Saturday I finally got to put on some ceiling.    The gaps are due to extending my sheets and not having cut off pieces on the edges. The gaps are all 2.5 inches or less, and I will be running 4 inch boards on every edge anyway so they wont be seen once it is done. I got 12 full boards put up and a few more cut and ready except for the electrical cut outs. My legs from the 100 ladder trips and my shoulder from holding so much over my head feel like I accomplished lots, but it does not look like I did. Will start on the vaulted ceilings with the 2x4s this week (if my arm does not fall off which it feels like it could). Not sure how it will get done but it will. There is no plan B , even coming up with one is energy better spent on Plan A in the first place, in this scenario anyway.   The work is hard and not my specialty , but it is moving along. I have a mountain of work to accomplish in 3 months. Although I hear mountains can be moved with a small amount of faith. One night last week well past a dinner I forgot to eat, and even past a bedtime I had grown used to I was in the house working. A spring rain had started and the sound on the metal roof was just relaxing. I even turned off the radio and its never ending loop of 4 songs to hear it better. The rhythm of the rain had me daydreaming, how the house would look when it was done. Each room painted and ready to be lived in. Each thud of the framing nailgun changing the picture in my head like a flick of one of those view-master toys. It would have been peaceful enough to doze off to, if the nail gun wasn't getting every heavier , and if the air compressor didn't kick on every so often. Probably best not to doze off on a ladder though. So house, gardens, animals, mowing, and my 9-5. At least I never have to be bored again. I am blessed beyond anything I deserve and I hope you all are doing well.
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Post by oldcajun123 on May 9, 2022 11:55:35 GMT -5
 👍🏻Good work young man!
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Post by Goldbrick on May 9, 2022 12:13:46 GMT -5
Great progress Travis, but let me sound like your Grandma for a bit...you can only run flat out for so long before you burn out. Remember to take some down time. Fishing will let you relax, and put something in the freezer too. It's hard to slow down when the other side of that mountain is in sight, but take care of yourself!
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Post by oldcajun123 on May 9, 2022 12:32:41 GMT -5
 Herbert is 100% right, you can only do so much, you get sick who’s gonna carry the load, pace yourself,
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Post by dervis on Jun 6, 2022 10:26:34 GMT -5
Progress around the place has been slow, but I always think not enough is done. Everything is growing though, aside from my bank account, the house is making sure of that. Already eating some squash, cucumbers, zucchini from the garden. Along with 4-5 types of greens. Garden fresh salads are always my favorite when they start coming in. Paired with smoked chicken harvested last November and easy quick cold dinners are never a problem. It always feels to go me to know my entire meal was grown here. Lost several middle age rabbits, must have been disease or a parasite, whatever the reason 2-3 would die a night with nothing I could figure out to do to stop it. Will have different plans for next litters. But the 70plus pounds of meat will be missed in the freezer. It is a fact that if you are going to have live stock you are going to have dead stock , but its never an easy find. House was a scramble to find materials, quality of hardware stores are a joke, and smaller lumber yards are so far behind (which good for them!) lots of driving to get materials. Dad and I did manage to get 2 days work done in 3. He slows down the progress, but the memories will be worth more in my later years. Porch done, just needs some trim and some clear coat. Laundry room ceiling done, will do the walls to match hopefully this week . I still pray daily in my appreciation for how blessed I am, hope you all find yourself well. 
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Post by Silver on Jun 6, 2022 11:10:09 GMT -5
Coming along, nicely!
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Post by Gypo on Jun 6, 2022 19:06:14 GMT -5
Looks great thank you for the update.
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Post by Goldbrick on Jun 7, 2022 14:03:13 GMT -5
Great job!
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Post by oldcajun123 on Jun 8, 2022 7:21:34 GMT -5
 I always enjoy your updates, thank you so much, your Father is a lucky man!
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Zach
Pro Member
   
If you can't send money, send tobacco.
Posts: 3,778
First Name: Zach
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Post by Zach on Jun 8, 2022 8:18:34 GMT -5
Looking great, Travis. The perseverance is paying off.
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Post by trailboss on Jun 9, 2022 20:55:14 GMT -5
Indeed to what others have said, Great progress!
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Post by dervis on Jun 16, 2022 9:10:25 GMT -5
Warm week here, first one of the year always seems to sneak up on people. Most daytime (aside from my day job) keeping animals watered and making more shade for the ones working in open areas. Did have a few chickens die, which I expected. I let several get several years to old , it was my fault I should have butchered them last year or the year before. Just the age and heat they could not take it. Garden is still going good, Have had to water a few times. and will again before the rain comes. Have to move the sprinkler every hour or so from 5pm till midnight , or start at midnight till 5 am . Which I do on occasion. Lots of Zucchini and squash so far. Everything else is going a bit slower but will be here before long. Already getting calls and visits from people ready to carry off anything extra. It is good to see their faces every summer. Fresh vegetables should be part of more peoples routine, most of the people do mention they have started a few seeds or tomato plants, or they want to and I send them home with something from the greenhouse to plant. I try and watch pride, because pride can get to big fast, but I am proud that because of what they see me do they start doing a little of it themselves. Sunflowers are blooming, I keep looking at them hoping to catch the first sighting of the little yellow birds that eat from them. They are sneaky and I only see them when the flowers are in bloom. It is a treat every year they show. I read and nap on the porch between the water changes. I sleep on the porch often this time of year because it is cooler than the house full of all the "needed" electronic things putting off heat. Got an old Coleman sleeping bag that always takes me back to memories of a kid camping. Combine that with the reading of something like Walden and in the dark I swear I can almost hear lapping of water on a bank edge. The dog likes the porch season, but the cats view it as an invasion of their nighttime antics I think. There is a stray cat that comes up and gets food on occasion. I heard it the other night and sat up out of the sleeping bag, that thing bounced off every wall on the porch and might have hit the ceiling. I dont think it will come back for a few days. Not much work going on the house. Waiting on materials mostly, Dad cant handle the heat like he used to. He blames it on age, but I blame it on his hours sitting in the AC. He and I work on things slowly and I put some quail or chicken on the smoker for lunch. I think the big lunch is part of the reason he keeps coming back. Ive made note that untill house is done I need to increase the number of animals I raise to feed him. He and I are already talking about the tomato sandwiches we will be having in a few weeks. He heads home mid afternoon and I work into the night to get things moving forward. Stepfather broke his rib again, so Ive been on chore duty at their house as well. Haven't spent as much time with them since the house started so this is a nice , albeit forced time there with them catching up on breaks. I need more hours in the day it seems, but time moves as it does I just make sure I keep moving with it. I am blessed to be able to help people and blessed that there are people who want to help me. A few pictures of the progress, what little it is. And the view from my new front porch, which is already full of memories. As always I am blessed beyond anything I deserve.   
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Zach
Pro Member
   
If you can't send money, send tobacco.
Posts: 3,778
First Name: Zach
Favorite Pipe: Too many currently, bound to change
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Location:
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Post by Zach on Jun 16, 2022 10:11:56 GMT -5
Great stuff, Travis. Sorry to hear about your step father's ribs of course but the rest of the big picture is shaping up wonderfully it seems.
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Post by dervis on Aug 11, 2022 9:39:51 GMT -5
The weather here almost feels like summer is winding down. I know there are still some warm ones ahead but I have been enjoying the new porch, cool breeze and the afternoon showers. Watching the clouds over the woods, the smell of rain thick on the front. A smell everyone knows, but to a farmer with dry fields/gardens it creates an anticipation. I close my eyes and breathe in the smell , and think about how good it will be when the rain falls. The quiet before it starts , and the tin roof percussion after. Of course the clouds can go around and if so the smell is replaced again with dust and thick warm air. I feel I have as much control over the house progress as I do over those clouds. It has already been a year , the bank is cranky, Dad is cranky, and so am I. Things will happen in their own time, which is never really my time. My mistake for trying to own time in the first place. I spent so many hours in the house prepping and hanging drywall I think something had to happen to make it stop. With my day job , farm chores, house chores I was pulling 18 plus hour days. About a month ago had a rough night, with several hours of pain. For the first time in over 10 years I went to the doctor. ER to be more specific. Pancreatitis and gallbladder issues. Stone blocking the duct. So 2 days in hospital stint put in duct, gallbladder out and back home. For the sake of worrying family I sat and did nothing but read for a few days. Then back to hanging drywall. The sheets where heavier the first few days but got back In the motion well enough. Got it hung and this weekend hopefully with YouTube help will start the tape and mud. I go back in a week to have the stint removed and things looked at. The doctors would prefer I had sat until then, but their books albeit helpful can not know what’s best for a person.
The small hospital stay and following few days where the closest thing to a vacation I have had in as long as I can remember. As bad as I hated it , to not learn from it would make it a total waste. Can’t pray for patience and then get mad when given chances to be patient. Same as praying for strength then being surprised when you must be strong.
Gardens haven’t done much this year, still no rain and with as much as I have going and then almost a week of sitting around it didn’t have a fair chance. The overgrowth has lent itself to a playground for the cats. The flowering plants a treat for butterflies and bees. So even an unfruitful garden can provide a different kind of fruit. I still have more growing than I can eat, and full freezers so no real worry there. The peach trees I planted 4 years ago finally had fruit of their own. Every morning walking down to the barn I would pass them, pick a few, and eat. Had so many that could pick the best bites and toss the rest to the chickens. For a bit they were the first thing on my mind when I woke up. Excited to get out and select my breakfast, eat them standing in the yard, chickens even more excited waiting for their part. I remember a time when I used to meet around the coffee machine in an office and make small talk with almost strangers. Tie and dress shoes , like a part in a bad play. Silently eating peaches , mud boots covered with dew, chickens telling me to hurry up fits me better. It’s the little ways like that I know I am blessed beyond anything I deserve.
A hawk took out another one of my chickens, but finally it wont be a problem any longer. I currently have 3 rabbits still . Will start breeding again end of month. 20 laying chickens, 10 laying quail , 10 ducks which turned out to be mostly male, so freezer camp for the boys save one. Oven roasted duck with a slight crisp to the skin is one of my favorite meals.
The heat of the summer has made my driveway overgrown. In nicer weather the neighbors and family keep it worn down from visits , but as of late there has not been the traffic it is used to. Suits me fine anytime I am a bit under the weather I just want to be alone anyway. I am sure when they hear I am mended they all have lists of things I can help with . Which will give us all time to catch up. Dad had a few kittens show up so to help we have a new addition to the place. Smokey the cat, to go along with Bandit the dog. The other two official farm cats are very unhappy with this. To the point they might just move off altogether, which I have to say the thought has crossed my mind as well. This six year adventure has been exhausting so far. I enjoy reading, but in relation the past year would be one of those long chapters, ones that seem to be without as much purpose. Something some might call filler. The easy thing to do is rush though the pages and not pay attention, but usually that is a mistake and the slow chapter is very important later on. It has some detail or purpose that I might and have in the past missed while rushing, but that’s my fault not its. It is exactly what it is supposed to be, I just need to be who I am supposed to be while in it.
I hope you all are well , I thank God for the hard times and their lessons. I pray I learn what I am supposed to while in them and help others along the way.
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Post by oldcajun123 on Aug 11, 2022 9:53:51 GMT -5
 Reading your exploits, You make my heart sing!
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Post by Ronv69 on Aug 11, 2022 10:00:00 GMT -5
I love your updates. I hope that you are printing them out and saving them in a journal.
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Post by Silver on Aug 11, 2022 10:12:53 GMT -5
Travis, I really enjoy reading posts of your journey. I hope your health has been restored.
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Post by trailboss on Aug 11, 2022 11:12:00 GMT -5
Great submission Travis!
(As always)
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Post by Goldbrick on Aug 12, 2022 22:41:02 GMT -5
So nice to see a post from you...glad you're on the road to recovery.
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Post by dervis on Oct 6, 2022 9:44:00 GMT -5
Fall is showing up around the place. It is my favorite time of year. I enjoy the cold floor on my feet when I get out of bed, the way the animals around the place seem to move a bit slower in the mornings instead of full speed full noise as they are in the summer, but most of all I enjoy when I can wear this old green canvas stained jacket. It was my grandfathers, and its like seeing an old friend every year when I can get it out of the closet. I wear it for a few months before I have to move up to something warmer. I remember him wearing it walking down the road towards me. (we lived in the old farm house with the barns, he lived about half a mile down the road in a new house he built for my grandmother). In the fall colors the crayon green jacket standing out. I can still see his pace not slow but not in a hurry, I remember the tune he whistled as he walked. Something I do myself now without even thinking. How the gravel road sounded under his boots, this little satisfying crunch. I would stand at the end of my driveway , he would stop and ask was I ready? From that moment in my youth till now the answer has been yes, I am ready. So I guess you can say I like this jacket. Gardens are done, I just need to chop and cover. Did not do a winter round this year, but no time and freezers are full. Breeding rabbits for one last go before its to cold. If I do not have a good ratio this time I am thinking on stopping them for a while. Butcher the stock I have and start fresh in the spring. It is never a fun thing to do , but rotating livestock is just part of it. A lesson I am still learning as the old hens I should have butchered last winter died this summer from age/heat. Finally got around to butchering the ducks, they were very underweight , even though they had free choice food. I am thinking it was due to to many males to female ratio, leads to lots of running and chasing. Got another 50 meat chicks that will do nothing but eat for 8 weeks then go to my freezer. Quail still laying eggs plenty, but not really hatching any currently, cooler weather is not kind to baby quail. They really dont eat much or take much time in care so they are not a worry. With chicken, ducks, quail eggs going out the door as fast as they can lay them. The new kitten has been a blessing these past few months. He reminds me to stop and laugh. I enjoy cats and dogs, but to me there is nothing as fun as watching a kitten play and discover the world. Every new thing he finds, sees, he reminds me that the world is an interesting beautiful place. Still working on the house. And for the most part I am tired of doing so. I cant even imagine finishing it. Its just something I do now like breathing. Any time that I am not at my job job, or im not doing chores, then its in the house. I think I spend more time in it some weeks than I do in my actual trailer. I even put a sleeping bag out there to lay down when I just cant keep my eyes open any more. Catch me a few hours then back up to work. Listening to youtube videos on whatever project is next while I clean up form the last. Next currently is to put up the concrete board for shower wall tile. Doing things that CANT leak always scares me, but it is time. Its basically a rush to the point where I can paint. I am hoping after paint the projects will snowball till its done. I am at a point now where I am more frustrated than usual. I am eating worse because of not taking the time to cook, or even forgetting to eat some days. Sleep is only found in naps in general terms and something I simply dont have time for. Which leads to less energy , and a more depressing outlook on things in general. Which I am also not helping as many people as I usually do., or I havent been . But it is an easy thing to fix I was forgetting that the whole point is to bring joy to others. The goal , the direction , the purpose is to bring joy to other people, and if not joy at the least its removing a feeling of helplessness others might have. Yes the house will help that, but stopping helping so you can help later just means you aren't helping now, and people need help now. Joy and helping others does more for us than it does the ones helped. Its an easy thing to correct and I look forward to doing so. Even when I cant quite snap myself out of a funk, doing something for someone else only has 2 possible outcomes. The person feels good, I feel in a funk still, Or the person feels good and I feel good. Either way you do the math it means someone feels good. Adding some pictures to the end because its been a bit since I have. I still recognize that I am more blessed than I deserve , and then some.       
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