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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 15:05:20 GMT -5
So, some of you may remember that I tried to buy some tobacco from smoking pipes, but it got stopped in customs and I was going to be charged a tidy sum of around $250 to pick it up.
Needless to say, I didn't pick it up. I ignored the letter.
Fast forward a few months and a couple of days ago I get an email from smoking pipes saying they've received the tobacco back again and credited my account to the tune of $9.
This is $9 I can't use.
So here's what I've decided to do - let's have a competition...
Anyone who wants a tin of tobacco off their choice (around $9 in value 😁) PM me your best Christmas joke. One entry per person please.
After boxing day (so when I wake up on Thursday) I'll post all the jokes anonymously as a poll. The joke with the most votes wins.
Simple as that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 15:08:23 GMT -5
Why only a $9.00 credit? How much did you originally spend??
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 15:12:27 GMT -5
Why only a $9.00 credit? How much did you originally spend?? $9 |
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Mac
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Post by Mac on Dec 24, 2018 15:50:43 GMT -5
Whoa! $250 duty on a $9.00 item? Seems a tad extortionate....
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 15:52:01 GMT -5
Whoa! $250 duty on a $9.00 item? Seems a tad extortionate.... Tell me about it. |
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Post by just ol ed on Dec 24, 2018 15:54:42 GMT -5
try to bring up some of late Benny Hill's x-rated classics that probably should have been censored, but Fox Network took in all his segments when the main networks wouldn't.
Try "Why Santa has no Children" bit. Again, x-rated
If get no replies, I'll do it!
Ed Duncan, Batavia, NY
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 16:28:36 GMT -5
Only 1 person had pmed me. Even if you don't care for the tobacco, do it for the fun of it. You've got nothing to lose.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 16:39:30 GMT -5
Whoa! $250 duty on a $9.00 item? Seems a tad extortionate.... Australia is by far worse!!! |
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Post by pepesdad1 on Dec 24, 2018 16:44:35 GMT -5
Whoa! $250 duty on a $9.00 item? Seems a tad extortionate.... Yeah, they shoot you for placing an order. |
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Post by daveinlax on Dec 24, 2018 18:14:13 GMT -5
Did you hear the one about the guy who didn’t use 4 Noggins for his international tobacco purchase? Seriously Smokingpipes is upfront about declaring value.  |
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 18:28:23 GMT -5
Did you hear the one about the guy who didn’t use 4 Noggins for his international tobacco purchase? Seriously Smokingpipes is upfront about declaring value. Lol. That's ok. I'm happy that things are above board. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 18:29:41 GMT -5
Perfect joke for the holiday season.......
It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 18:32:38 GMT -5
Perfect joke for the holiday season....... It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!" you have to pm me so it's anonymous. Lol. Pm me another one. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 18:34:26 GMT -5
Perfect joke for the holiday season....... It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!" you have to pm me so it's anonymous. Lol. Pm me another one. Naaaaaaa, that was a funny joke. I’d much rather give a good laugh than win👍👍 PS
If I sent you a joke through PM , it might be so BAD you’ll definitely need to change your knickers....lol. |
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Post by Legend Lover on Dec 24, 2018 18:36:11 GMT -5
you have to pm me so it's anonymous. Lol. Pm me another one. Naaaaaaa, that was a funny joke. I’d much rather give a good laugh than win👍👍 at least join in otherwise this is going to be petty lame. 😂 |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 19:36:04 GMT -5
Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in," he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays."
The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it. “This represents a candle of hope." Impressed, Peter lets him in.
The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells." He’s allowed in too.
“So," Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?"
The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.
“What do these have to do with Christmas?" asks Peter.
“They’re Carol’s."
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Post by Ronv69 on Dec 24, 2018 20:41:44 GMT -5
The jokes I know are all politically incorrect, and I don't want to hurt @chico s feelings.
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haveldad
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Post by haveldad on Dec 24, 2018 20:52:41 GMT -5
So, some of you may remember that I tried to buy some tobacco from smoking pipes, but it got stopped in customs and I was going to be charged a tidy sum of around $250 to pick it up. Needless to say, I didn't pick it up. I ignored the letter. Fast forward a few months and a couple of days ago I get an email from smoking pipes saying they've received the tobacco back again and credited my account to the tune of $9. This is $9 I can't use. So here's what I've decided to do - let's have a competition... Anyone who wants a tin of tobacco off their choice (around $9 in value 😁) PM me your best Christmas joke. One entry per person please. After boxing day (so when I wake up on Thursday) I'll post all the jokes anonymously as a poll. The joke with the most votes wins. Simple as that. 250$ to import one tin of tobacco? That's incredibly stupid |
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Post by pepesdad1 on Dec 24, 2018 21:42:49 GMT -5
Yes...Yes, it is^^^^^^.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 21:44:24 GMT -5
The jokes I know are all politically incorrect, and I don't want to hurt @chico s feelings. Har-de-har-har. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 21:45:48 GMT -5
Hickory Dickoroy Dock, this chick.....oh wait...,wrong forum .....lol.
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Post by Cramptholomew on Dec 24, 2018 21:57:29 GMT -5
Hickory Dickoroy Dock, this chick.....oh wait...,wrong forum .....lol. "She washed a sock"? "She Picked the lock"? "She wore a smock"? "Fell off the dock"? "She couldn't walk"? "She ate a rock"? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 22:29:32 GMT -5
There was a man from Nantucket whose.... Sorry I have to be extra good if I want Santa to give me a shiny rock and a piece of coal.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 22:34:09 GMT -5
Hickory Dickoroy Dock, this chick.....oh wait...,wrong forum .....lol. "She washed a sock"? "She Picked the lock"? "She wore a smock"? "Fell off the dock"? "She couldn't walk"? "She ate a rock"? Look up Andrew Dice Clay👍 |
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Post by PhantomWolf on Dec 24, 2018 22:39:39 GMT -5
Haha Fun idea.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 22:41:50 GMT -5
Clays version of Jack and Jill is way better.
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Post by Cramptholomew on Dec 24, 2018 23:01:20 GMT -5
"She washed a sock"? "She Picked the lock"? "She wore a smock"? "Fell off the dock"? "She couldn't walk"? "She ate a rock"? Look up Andrew Dice Clay👍 I know what it is, I was just kiddin'. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2018 23:05:03 GMT -5
Look up Andrew Dice Clay👍 I know what it is, I was just kiddin'. Jason, for some reason I already knew you know the joke from “ The Diceman “👍👍 |
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Post by just ol ed on Dec 25, 2018 1:21:30 GMT -5
ok then...the unbelievable classic from Benny Hill that Fox network actually let go
Hill dressed as Santa with a group of 5-yrs old
"you know why Santa has no children? Well for one thing he's got popcorn balls
He only cums once a year......& shoots down the chimneeeeey"
now that one's been around longer than I been alive!
Ed Duncan, Batavia, NY
(damn near 78)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2018 3:01:49 GMT -5
Ed ^^^^^^^^ that’s a good one👍👍
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