Post by Legend Lover on Dec 27, 2018 6:59:51 GMT -5
So there was an overwhelming response to my competition suggestion. A whole 6 people have submitted a joke via PM.
So it's the voting round. Vote for your favourite joke. You have until Saturday....
So it's the voting round. Vote for your favourite joke. You have until Saturday....
1.
Why does the alphabet have only 25 letters at Christmas? There's no L at Christmas.
Why does the alphabet have only 25 letters at Christmas? There's no L at Christmas.
2.
Jonny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, "Hmm, a pet might be a good idea." He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. "How about a puppy?" "No," said Johnny. "It may poop around the house." "A fish?" "No, her house is small, so I don’t think an aquarium will fit." Johnny then spied a parrot and asked, "How about that parrot?" "Oh," said the manager, "That’s Chet. He’s very expensive." "Well," said Johnny, "It’s my mom let’s take a look." The manager went to Chet, put a lighter under his left wing, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." Then the manager put a lighter under Chet’s right wig and it started to sing, "Dashing through the snow..." "Wow!" said Johnny, "What else does he sing?" The manager held the lighter under Chet’s crotch at which point Chet sang, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."
Jonny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, "Hmm, a pet might be a good idea." He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. "How about a puppy?" "No," said Johnny. "It may poop around the house." "A fish?" "No, her house is small, so I don’t think an aquarium will fit." Johnny then spied a parrot and asked, "How about that parrot?" "Oh," said the manager, "That’s Chet. He’s very expensive." "Well," said Johnny, "It’s my mom let’s take a look." The manager went to Chet, put a lighter under his left wing, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." Then the manager put a lighter under Chet’s right wig and it started to sing, "Dashing through the snow..." "Wow!" said Johnny, "What else does he sing?" The manager held the lighter under Chet’s crotch at which point Chet sang, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."
3.
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
4.
Donner and Blitzen were chatting when Comet walked in the room sulking with his head down.
Dinner said to Blitzen “What’s wring with Comet?
Blitzen replied: His wife went to Vegas and blew 50 bucks
Donner and Blitzen were chatting when Comet walked in the room sulking with his head down.
Dinner said to Blitzen “What’s wring with Comet?
Blitzen replied: His wife went to Vegas and blew 50 bucks
5.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are fighting with their lightsabers next to the Christmas tree.
Darth Vader starts to taunt Luke:
[BREATHY] "Luke. Luke. I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
Luke looks a bit confused, wondering why Darth Vader is bringing this up at a time like this. He sees his advantage and lops off Darth Vader's hand, but his villainous opponent persists, "Listen to me, Luke! I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
"This is ridiculous," Luke says.
"But it's true - I do know!"
Luke is annoyed now. "Alright, then - how do you know?"
"I felt your presents."
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are fighting with their lightsabers next to the Christmas tree.
Darth Vader starts to taunt Luke:
[BREATHY] "Luke. Luke. I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
Luke looks a bit confused, wondering why Darth Vader is bringing this up at a time like this. He sees his advantage and lops off Darth Vader's hand, but his villainous opponent persists, "Listen to me, Luke! I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
"This is ridiculous," Luke says.
"But it's true - I do know!"
Luke is annoyed now. "Alright, then - how do you know?"
"I felt your presents."
6.
Why does a Cowboy wear large belt buckles?
Answer: there is always a Tribute to something when it does.
Why does a Cowboy wear large belt buckles?
Answer: there is always a Tribute to something when it does.
