Humor

We have a winner.

Turbocat has a sick, bizarre, depraved sense of humor. I love it.

One fall, a farmer is cutting firewood

He spends all day cutting logs and splitting them and stacking them, and as he's winding down for the day he sees an elderly Indian watching him silently from over the fence. So he goes over and says "How?" and the Indian says "How. Gottum smoke?" and the farmer hands over a pouch of tobacco, and the Indian fills his pipe, lights up, blows a big cloud of smoke contentedly and remarks "Winter be cold this year".

Thinking himself lucky to get such a hint, the farmer sets aside a second day for cutting firewood, and by the end of the day he has a massive logpile stacked up at the back of the house, and he notices the same old Indian watching him again. So, unasked, the farmer hands over some tobacco and the Indian helps himself, lights up, and says "Winter be *plenty* cold this year".

So the farmer spends a third day cutting firewood, and by the time he's done his hands are worked nearly to the bone, his saw and his axe are both in need of a good sharpening, but he has a colossal logpile all around two sides of the house, and when he sees the Indian he goes over, gives him more tobacco, and the Indian comments "Winter be *heap damn* cold this year."

At which the farmer asks the Indian "Sir, how is it that you know winter will be so cold?", and the Indian draws afresh on his pipe and gives him a look that suggests still another gift of tobacco would be in order... and when the farmer obliges, the Indian says confidentially, "Winter always cold when white man cut much firewood".

Zarkicky's first instrument and first pipe.