|
|
Post by oldcajun123 on Jul 7, 2023 12:03:08 GMT -5
 What has 6 balls and f#$ks you. THE LOTTERY!
|
|
|
|
Post by turbocat on Jul 7, 2023 14:37:42 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by oldcajun123 on Jul 8, 2023 9:40:55 GMT -5
A favorite. The finals of the National Poetry Contest. A Yale grad versus a redneck. The challenge: a four line poem containing the word “Timbuktu.” Yale grad loses the draw and goes first with: Across the burning desert sand Trekked the dusty Caravan. Men on Camels, two by two. Destination, Timbuktu. The crowd goes wild, but the redneck steps and and says I got it: Me and Tim a huntin’ went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They were three and we were two. So I bucked one, and Tim bucked two!
|
|
|
|
Post by terrapinflyer on Jul 8, 2023 10:36:33 GMT -5
'Gads.
A lone pirate rings the doorbell on Halloween.
Homeowner asks, "Where are the rest of your buccaneers?"
"They're under my buccin' hat, lady."
|
|
|
|
Post by oldcajun123 on Jul 17, 2023 13:02:22 GMT -5
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Shiner... He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." “It hasn't affected my brothers though."
|
|
Mrs. Zarnicky
Junior Member
Posts: 226
First Name: Anichka
Favorite Tobacco: (Country Squire) Hunting Creek, Black Arrow. (Sutliff) Vanilla Custard
Location:
|
Humor
Jul 23, 2023 19:02:08 GMT -5
Post by Mrs. Zarnicky on Jul 23, 2023 19:02:08 GMT -5
'Gads. A lone pirate rings the doorbell on Halloween. Homeowner asks, "Where are the rest of your buccaneers?" "They're under my buccin' hat, lady." Zarnicky finding out how much charging pirate for ear piercing. A buck an ear. |
|
|
|
Post by oldcajun123 on Jul 27, 2023 13:13:54 GMT -5
Two sisters inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 available. The older sister says, "I’m going to take the bus to the stockyards since you need the pick-up truck. When I get there, if I decide to buy a bull, I'll contact you to bring the pickup truck and trailer and haul it home." The older sister arrives at the stockyard, inspects a bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she makes her way to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram telling her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister, telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator said he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, she only had one dollar, enough to send one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her this word: comfortable." The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to the pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?" She explained, "This is a big word for my sister. So she'll read it very slowly ... sounding it out as com-for-da-bull."
|
|
What has 6 balls and f#$ks you. 
