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Post by urbino on Mar 16, 2023 18:25:16 GMT -5
FLAGGED!
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Post by turbocat on Mar 16, 2023 18:56:16 GMT -5
That’s not flagged, THIS is flagged-  |
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Post by Silver on Mar 16, 2023 19:41:02 GMT -5
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Post by turbocat on Mar 17, 2023 14:33:21 GMT -5
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Post by username on Mar 17, 2023 19:21:33 GMT -5
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Post by turbocat on Mar 18, 2023 14:51:37 GMT -5
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Post by turbocat on Mar 19, 2023 14:24:57 GMT -5
There are three unwritten rules on The Briar Patch Pipe Forum:
1.
2.
3.
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Post by Plainsman on Mar 20, 2023 10:21:20 GMT -5
I refuse to obey that second one.
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Post by turbocat on Mar 20, 2023 12:28:28 GMT -5
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Post by adui on Mar 20, 2023 14:14:25 GMT -5
There are three unwritten rules on The Briar Patch Pipe Forum: 1. 2. 3. I plead ignorance. |
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Post by turbocat on Mar 21, 2023 14:46:03 GMT -5
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Post by turbocat on Mar 23, 2023 14:16:00 GMT -5
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Post by trailboss on Mar 23, 2023 16:27:01 GMT -5
A fifteen year old hillbilly boy and his father took a trip into town and ended up at the mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a haggard old hook nosed woman moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady shuffled with a club foot between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number …and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'
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Mrs. Zarnicky
Junior Member
Posts: 226
First Name: Anichka
Favorite Tobacco: (Country Squire) Hunting Creek, Black Arrow. (Sutliff) Vanilla Custard
Location:
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Post by Mrs. Zarnicky on Mar 24, 2023 11:38:15 GMT -5
Trailboss tell wonderful elevator joke. Ever since Zarnicky little girl, I loving elevators. Here is some Zarnicky elevator etiquette. Do this when you on elevator.
Whenever someone presses an elevator button, make loud explosion noises.
Ask “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Yell 'group hug' and enforce it on everyone in the elevator.
Drag an imaginary pet into the elevator.
Tap someone on the shoulder. When they look at you, pretend like it wasn't you.
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers if they attempt to cross you.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passangers.
Insist that you press the floor buttons for everyone and then press all the wrong ones.
Burp and then say “mmmm… tasty!”
At each floor, say 'ding'.
When the elevator is full of people, make puking sounds.
Jump to make the elevator bounce.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
While holding a paper with “OUT OF ORDER” written on it, say, ”I wonder why this was glued to the door when I came in”.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, Hide it…quick!” then whistle innocently.
Wear X-ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Take a bite of a sandwich and then ask another passenger, “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger.
Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally.
Pick your nose and wipe it on the buttons.
Stare at people. When they look back, let out a creepy smile.
Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta go” and then say “Oops!”
Drop a pen. Wait for someone to pick it up. Just when they do, Scream “It’s mine!”
Before you leave, press all the elevator buttons, and run.
Stare at someone and yell, "It was him!"
Hum the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” over and over again.
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
Guard the button panels. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Play the accordion.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their tempers.
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Post by Ronv69 on Mar 24, 2023 11:49:43 GMT -5
Trailboss tell wonderful elevator joke. Ever since Zarnicky little girl, I loving elevators. Here is some Zarnicky elevator etiquette. Do this when you on elevator. Whenever someone presses an elevator button, make loud explosion noises. Ask “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?” Yell 'group hug' and enforce it on everyone in the elevator. Drag an imaginary pet into the elevator. Tap someone on the shoulder. When they look at you, pretend like it wasn't you. Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers if they attempt to cross you. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passangers. Insist that you press the floor buttons for everyone and then press all the wrong ones. Burp and then say “mmmm… tasty!” At each floor, say 'ding'. When the elevator is full of people, make puking sounds. Jump to make the elevator bounce. Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again. While holding a paper with “OUT OF ORDER” written on it, say, ”I wonder why this was glued to the door when I came in”. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, Hide it…quick!” then whistle innocently. Wear X-ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers. Take a bite of a sandwich and then ask another passenger, “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?” Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally. Pick your nose and wipe it on the buttons. Stare at people. When they look back, let out a creepy smile. Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta go” and then say “Oops!” Drop a pen. Wait for someone to pick it up. Just when they do, Scream “It’s mine!” Before you leave, press all the elevator buttons, and run. Stare at someone and yell, "It was him!" Hum the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” over and over again. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral". Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers. Guard the button panels. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!" When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat. Play the accordion. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit. Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their tempers. You have issues, my dear! 🤣 |
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Post by Plainsman on Mar 24, 2023 11:56:33 GMT -5
Somehow calming to know Zarnicky is in the 7th grade.
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Post by turbocat on Mar 25, 2023 15:20:16 GMT -5
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Post by urbino on Mar 25, 2023 15:28:08 GMT -5
Ha. True!
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Post by trailboss on Mar 25, 2023 16:06:19 GMT -5
My kids had Tyco blocks...I looked like the guy walking on tacks in home alone more than once! Damn them things! They will bring you down a foot or two. After several failures on my son's part to police his mess, the bad fairy took them away. |
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Post by Ronv69 on Mar 25, 2023 22:28:18 GMT -5
You wusses! I grew up with JACKS! 😁  |
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Post by oldcajun123 on Mar 25, 2023 23:37:21 GMT -5
  Yep my twin daughter put a couple of her jacks in my cowboy boots, hobbled for a couple days, but there wasn't anymore jacks in the Simon household.
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Post by trailboss on Mar 25, 2023 23:50:48 GMT -5
The military had some razor bladed “jacks” to disable a car tires, my dad’s buddy a special forces guy had some at his home.
Glad my kids never had them.
😉
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Post by turbocat on Mar 26, 2023 15:05:00 GMT -5
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Post by turbocat on Mar 27, 2023 13:42:42 GMT -5
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Post by Plainsman on Mar 27, 2023 17:55:08 GMT -5
You wusses! I grew up with JAC Caltrops! Once more into the breach, dear friends! |
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Post by urbino on Mar 27, 2023 20:37:11 GMT -5
You wusses! I grew up with JAC Caltrops! Once more into the breach, dear friends! Charles Calthrop, you say? |
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Post by Plainsman on Mar 27, 2023 20:47:51 GMT -5
Caltrops! Once more into the breach, dear friends! Charles Calthrop, you say? No. I didn’t. |
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Humor
Mar 28, 2023 13:22:30 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Ronv69 on Mar 28, 2023 13:22:30 GMT -5
They're like the Omaha beach tank traps, but for your feet.
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Post by Plainsman on Mar 28, 2023 13:50:18 GMT -5
Actually for your horses feet.
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Humor
Mar 28, 2023 14:11:57 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Ronv69 on Mar 28, 2023 14:11:57 GMT -5
Actually for your horses feet. Horses flatten jacks. |
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Yep my twin daughter put a couple of her jacks in my cowboy boots, hobbled for a couple days, but there wasn't anymore jacks in the Simon household.
