Three young girls are having a slumber party. One girl asks if their mother's told them where they came from. My mom said I was made by love. The 2nd girl's mom told her she was a gift from god. The third one says, "My mom said I was made by a blizzard and a fifth of Jack."
A rabbi, priest, and a shaolin monk walk into a bar.
When they sit down, they begin to debate over which of their religions is the correct one to follow.
After much debate and many drinks, the monk has an idea.
"What if we all tried to convert a very wild, very powerful creature, like a bear, to our own religion? Whoever succeeds must truly be the correct one!"
The other two agree, and they all leave for the night.
The next evening, the priest walks in first, with a couple scratches and bruises. The bartender asks what happened, and he says "I read the book of John to a bear, but that was a bad idea."
The monk walks in next, with a cast on his arm. The priest asked about his experience with the bear, and he said, "meditation next to a bear is a bad idea."
Finally, the rabbi rolls in on a wheelchair, missing a leg, with bandages wrapping the rest of his body. The monk and priest are horrified, and they ask what happened.
"I think... starting with circumcision was a bad idea."
"Governments may think and say as they like, but force cannot be eliminated, and it is the only real and unanswerable power. We are told that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which of these weapons I would choose."~Sir Adrian
Saw a sign when we were heading out West...hair cuts $2.00...couple miles up the road another sign said "we fix $2.00 hair cuts for $10.00" Thought it was funny. Doesn't take much for an old person to get a chuckle.