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Post by Ronv69 on May 14, 2022 7:54:35 GMT -5
Humor? Well… maybe… THE NIGHT WATCHMAN Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back." So they laid off the night watchman. For some reason that doesn't sound like a joke. It sounds like our government in action. |
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Post by terrapinflyer on May 14, 2022 18:46:51 GMT -5
Humor? Well… maybe… THE NIGHT WATCHMAN Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back." So they laid off the night watchman. For some reason that doesn't sound like a joke. It sounds like our government in action. That is the joke. |
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Post by trailboss on May 14, 2022 20:31:24 GMT -5
Humor? Well… maybe… THE NIGHT WATCHMAN Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back." So they laid off the night watchman. For some reason that doesn't sound like a joke. It sounds like our government in action. A sad joke on people that pay the freight. Unfortunately, some among us that vote, think it as smart governance, I wish I could bill them for incompetence. |
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Post by Legend Lover on May 17, 2022 4:11:42 GMT -5
Let's keep the politics out of it, shall we? I know the initial post was a joke, but it's a joke that resonates with many as to what some might feel is reality.
So let's laugh/groan and move on, but drop the political commentary before it gets out of hand.
Thank you.
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Post by Plainsman on May 17, 2022 8:40:55 GMT -5
Sorry. I guess I didn’t see the politics in it. Just gummint SOP. Mea culpa.
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Post by Legend Lover on May 17, 2022 10:07:01 GMT -5
Sorry. I guess I didn’t see the politics in it. Just gummint SOP. Mea culpa. No worries. There wasn't really, but things can always take a left turn on the patch. It describes many council-run places over here. |
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Post by Ronv69 on May 17, 2022 21:05:04 GMT -5
Bureaucrats are the same the world over and throughout history.
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Post by Plainsman on May 17, 2022 22:19:56 GMT -5
Yes, but doing jokes about them should be avoided. Could lead to dancing.
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Post by Ronv69 on May 17, 2022 23:14:24 GMT -5
Yes, but doing jokes about them should be avoided. Could lead to dancing. 😂 👍 |
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Post by Legend Lover on May 18, 2022 10:42:52 GMT -5
Yes, but doing jokes about them should be avoided. Could lead to dancing. |
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rastewart
Junior Member
Posts: 266
First Name: Rich
Favorite Pipe: Freehands, bent bulldogs, and the incomparable Peterson 303
Favorite Tobacco: Mac Baren's Scottish Blend (Mixture), C&D Mountain Camp, C&D Bayou Morning
Location:
Member is Online
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Post by rastewart on May 18, 2022 16:08:29 GMT -5
Which reminds me:
Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?
Because somebody might think they're dancing.
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Post by terrapinflyer on Aug 3, 2022 14:27:14 GMT -5
If you find yourself surrounded by attacking clowns, don't hesitate to go for the juggler.
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Post by Ronv69 on Aug 3, 2022 15:08:22 GMT -5
I believe that Little Nas and Billie Ray Cyrus have shown that this is a real need. |
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Post by sperrytops on Aug 3, 2022 20:05:10 GMT -5
I believe that Little Nas and Billie Ray Cyrus have shown that this is a real need. Well, if you don’t buy Twitter…. With you on Billy Rae. |
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Zach
Pro Member
If you can't send money, send tobacco.
Posts: 3,578
First Name: Zach
Favorite Pipe: Too many currently, bound to change
Favorite Tobacco: Haunted Bookshop, Big 'N' Burley, Pegasus, Habana Daydream, OJK, Rum Twist, FVF, Escudo, Orlik Golden Sliced, Kendal Flake, Ennerdale
Location:
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Post by Zach on Aug 16, 2022 10:47:42 GMT -5
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Post by trailboss on Aug 16, 2022 12:22:21 GMT -5
I looked up your childhood ruined book covers on an image search… they got some crazy book covers!
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rastewart
Junior Member
Posts: 266
First Name: Rich
Favorite Pipe: Freehands, bent bulldogs, and the incomparable Peterson 303
Favorite Tobacco: Mac Baren's Scottish Blend (Mixture), C&D Mountain Camp, C&D Bayou Morning
Location:
Member is Online
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Post by rastewart on Sept 8, 2022 16:12:11 GMT -5
Just saw this one and thought at least one of us here could appreciate it:
A truck driver lives a long, healthy life. After millions of safely driven miles, he dies peacefully in his bed. When he gets to heaven, St. Peter greets him and says he may have any rig he desires. The driver describes his dream rig, and it instantly appears before him.
St. Peter tells him to drive to the nearest truck stop and wait for his load.
The driver arrives at the truck stop and sees millions of rigs from the 1920s, 30s, 40s, all the way to the present day. He walks into the diner--all his favorite foods are available--his favorite show is on the TV. The driver grabs a plate and sits down to enjoy his dinner and watch the show. He leans over to the driver sitting next to him and asks, "Why is everyone here? Are there no loads?"
The other driver replies, "We're still waiting for the first dispatcher to make it to heaven."
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Post by trailboss on Sept 8, 2022 16:14:49 GMT -5
That is a true rendering!
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Post by Gypo on Sept 8, 2022 17:37:22 GMT -5
Just saw this one and thought at least one of us here could appreciate it:
A truck driver lives a long, healthy life. After millions of safely driven miles, he dies peacefully in his bed. When he gets to heaven, St. Peter greets him and says he may have any rig he desires. The driver describes his dream rig, and it instantly appears before him.
St. Peter tells him to drive to the nearest truck stop and wait for his load.
The driver arrives at the truck stop and sees millions of rigs from the 1920s, 30s, 40s, all the way to the present day. He walks into the diner--all his favorite foods are available--his favorite show is on the TV. The driver grabs a plate and sits down to enjoy his dinner and watch the show. He leans over to the driver sitting next to him and asks, "Why is everyone here? Are there no loads?"
The other driver replies, "We're still waiting for the first dispatcher to make it to heaven." Absolutely awesome! |
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Post by toshtego on Sept 8, 2022 19:02:06 GMT -5
The Devil's spawn.
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Post by terrapinflyer on Oct 17, 2022 10:03:35 GMT -5
>>Doc, I've been bitten by a wolf!
Where?
>>No, the regular kind.
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Post by terrapinflyer on Nov 7, 2022 8:43:46 GMT -5
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
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Take away their little brooms.
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Post by Ronv69 on Nov 7, 2022 15:41:48 GMT -5
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan? . . . . . . . . . . Take away their little brooms. +3 groans👍🙄👏😮 |
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Post by oldcajun123 on Nov 7, 2022 17:44:27 GMT -5
 Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens? It was a generous dough nation!
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Post by terrapinflyer on Nov 9, 2022 7:41:59 GMT -5
Oh, that's bad. I will use it at the earliest possible opportunity!
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Post by Darin on Dec 10, 2022 14:20:02 GMT -5
As I sip this sweet, creamy holiday beverage I find myself questioning the existence of god. Guess I'm feeling ... Eggnogstic.
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Post by roadsdiverged on Dec 10, 2022 15:13:04 GMT -5
🤣
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Post by terrapinflyer on Dec 10, 2022 15:30:11 GMT -5
Eggnogstic. I just used it. It went over like a lead balloon, so I'll definitely get some mileage out of it.
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Post by terrapinflyer on Dec 10, 2022 16:20:27 GMT -5
My mind is so scrambled lately that I missed an eggsellent opportunity to crack this yolk.
Anyway, I decided to put all my eggs in one basket. Juggling them up to the cashier was getting messy.
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Post by toshtego on Dec 10, 2022 19:48:32 GMT -5
My mind is so scrambled lately that I missed an eggsellent opportunity to crack this yolk. Anyway, I decided to put all my eggs in one basket. Juggling them up to the cashier was getting messy.  |
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Did you hear about the country giving free bread to its citizens?
